Myrna Tellingheusen

Please be advised l will not be doing knee bends at the airport.

Let’s bring civility back to the table. Maybe dress your turkey a little better.

It’s exhausting being in a room with enthusiastic people.

I want all of you to know l’m in church right now.

Would Jesus approve of deviled egg ornaments?

I remember when files were mundane.

Dear Tom Selleck,

I might be interested in a 50-year REVERSE mortgage.

HELEN LEFT A WATER RING ON MY COASTER

Inviting AI to bring a jello mold salad to Harold’s funeral luncheon.

I would rather not think about Abraham Lincoln’s powder room.

I pride myself on being ahead of the game. Today l took down my Halloween decorations.

I will not be satisfied until we expand the Senior Center’s Edith Dingman Room.

I normally hand out circus peanuts on Halloween, but this year that might be too traumatic.

Darlene’s breakfast casserole is probable spam.

We are in hand-basket territory. Fran is drinking wine out of a box.

LYLE WHERE ARE MY SHARPIES

If you laugh at my sensible shoes l will cackle at your bunions.

Excited for stretch pants season!

Do you remember normal weekends?

Let’s pray for Dolly.

Wood? I prefer Formica.

Just sitting around waiting for everything l own to come back in style.

We should fly the flag at half mast for Jane.

Never trust a book blurb.

THE CASHIER BROKE MY PUMPKIN STEM

Until things change, all of my jello molds will be jade green.

If you say “Friyay” l will u-turn out of the room.

I need to beef up my Grudge Rolodex.

l WILL NOT BE OUT-AUTUMNALLED.

Please be quiet. I am burping my Tupperware.