@flourishtherapy
Recovering mind + body from the effects of childhood trauma. NS, parts work, EMDR 🌿 Neuroaffirming, abuse-informed. Accepting clients worldwide ✨️🌏 https://flourishtherapy.co/
I am estranged from my entire family of origin.
They hold my history, but I got out with myself.
An incredibly costly trade, but one I would make over and over again.
Saving myself against all odds is my greatest achievement. 🤍✨️🕊
Recognizing this is an powerful doorway to seeing yourself accurately and finding the freedom you've always wanted.
Internalized ableism can look like a neurodivergent person that has absorbed + applied societal beliefs and stereotypes that devalue disability, to themselves.
This internalized bias can keep a neurodivergent person from seeing accurately + acknowledging their specific brain pattern and neurotype.
In narcissistic family systems hierarchy takes the place of balanced, honoring, reciprocating relationships.
This is by design. It's the only way to create "stability" in the absence of what relationships actually require.
The longing for tenderness and care from our parents never goes away. ❤️🩹
Grief is the only way to live in the world as it shouldn't be.
🌼Lauren Smallcomb
@goldenchildbook
@flourish_therapy
#nocontact #estrangement #goldenchild #scapegoatchild #dysfunctionalfamily
Awareness of this added layer helps clear the confusion and opens the door to restoring your dignity and honor, allowing you to fully embrace your complex grief. ❤️🩹
Stigmatized grief really complicates one's grief journey.
There are so many types of grief that are stigmatized...bringing a sense of shame and isolation.
An unhealthy parent creates a whole system of dysfunctional dynamics beneath them.
Read more about this is my upcoming memoir Golden Child: My Descent to Scapegoat and Rise to Freedom. 🤍✨️🕊
Golden Child is available for pre-order! 🤍✨️🕊
Sending so much care and honor for the collective of cycle-breakers doing the hard and meaningful work of creating family cultures of belonging, safety and care.
Every single step of this matters. 🤍
Don't give up believing that you too can be known and loved.
Wanting to be seen, known and held in the places of your greatest pain is one of the deepest human longings there are.
As much as you've maybe not experienced this, we want to encourage you that those benevolent witnesses await you, and you are altogether deserving of that space.
I heard “Wide Open Spaces” by Dixie Chick's when I was a young teen unknowingly stuck in my golden child role and thought why would anyone want room to make a big mistake?
Seriously.
It goes against every single instinct to name your parent as unsafe, unprotective or unloving.
Every. Single. Instinct.
If someone has done the hard work to get to this point of naming a more accurate narrative....listen to them. Consider their pain. And please do not judge them.
Neurodivergent awareness is so important as its easy to misinterpret someone's words and actions as threatening, when really they're simply neurodivergent.
(We're not talking about innately abusive behaviors like aggression, lying, blame-shifting or gaslighting...)
Letting go is a continual process- and invitation.
No need to feel shame that your pain keeps showing up. This is entirely normal.
🌿Luke + Lauren Smallcomb
@flourish_therapy
Quote: @yung_pueblo
#griefawareness #betrayaltrauma #traumaticloss #childhoodtraumarecovery #cptsdawareness
Loved this interaction so much. ♡
May you find "mom" and "dads" and any other family you've had to create distance from- in many other, more loving places.
Estrangement is a brutal path that no one wants to be their story...and yet IS the way forward to a whole, safe and fulfilling life for so many of us.
I can't wait for you to see yourself on the pages of my memoir, Golden Child. 🤍✨️🕊
If you're in a Neurodivergent relationship we have a special offer for you:
Neurodiverse Relationship Immersive
2 months of couples sessions with Luke exploring the elements of neurodiverse relationships that are challenging- bringing more safety, peace and connection into your relationship.
When you've gone years being misunderstood, and having shame and confusion about parts of yourself....
Getting a neurodivergent diagnosis can make a W O R L D of difference. 🌏🤍✨️
Some observations on the vulnerability of new growth...
You're doing such meaningful work that honors the past, and greatly benefits the present and future.
Onward 🤍✨️🕊
🌼Lauren + Luke Smallcomb
@flourish_therapy
@goldenchildbook
Stephanie Foo @foofoofoo wrote a brilliant memoir on trauma called "What My Bones Know".
Have you read it? 💬 📖
🌿Luke + Lauren Smallcomb
@flourish_therapy
#cptsdrecovery #healingchildhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery #dysfunctionalfamily
In a world full of so many painful transfers, let us transform instead.
🌿Luke + Lauren Smallcomb
@flourish_therapy
#dysfunctionalfamily
#cyclebreakers
#healingchildhoodtrauma
#woundedhealers
You, and only you get to decide.
🌼Lauren Smallcomb
@flourish_therapy
@goldenchildbook
#estrangement #nocontact #cyclebreaker #narcissisticfamily #dysfunctionalfamily
The path to estrangement is so incredibly complex.
For most it isn't desired, but feels like the only option forward.
Choosing something doesn't mean it's ever what you wanted.
Read more in my upcoming memoir "Golden Child: My Descent to Scapegoat and Rise to Freedom". 🤍✨️🕊
