Kettlewick

Mumford and Sons tickets but they're 500 FUCKING DOLLARS
#KettleWants

#KettleWants spicy miso ramen and kiwi Boba tea!!!!!!!

I clock out of work, watch the same TV shows, and feel the burning guilt of not being productive... But I need to learn who I am without that. I need to be loved by people without that lens. I need to love myself without that lens.

I think... I think I'm just exhausted. Not burned out, I'm actually feeling really motivated to draw lately. I just think I've finally hit the end of burning the candle at both ends. I'm forced to learn who I am outside of my creative production. And that's harder than I thought.

It was so integral to my identity. I had projects that I had to finish before I died. It was what gave me value.
But now, my job is not that. The project I'm working on feels so different. I love it, but not having that burning obsession tied to my artist identity has made it feel different.

Feeling weird and sad tonight. Feeling such an identity limbo lately.
For so long, who I was was my job. It was my art. I introduced myself as an artist, a creative.
But that core identity has really been shaken over these past few years.

Nightmares, bwughhhh

I uninstalled DoorDash from my phone and I'm being so brave about it right now

#KettleWants doritos...

BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"but Kettlewick, I thought you were XYZ label"
I'm the L, B, G, T, Q and A y'all
AND I'm just a guy
Keep up

"you're a cis straight guy like the rest of us right"
Yeah sure whatever let me just cash my paycheck

Gotta pretend to be cis and straight at my new job... just hope that my gay transgender transsexual he/him butch lesbian homo queer aura doesn't get sniffed out during meetings

Washi tape for my journal...
#KettleWants

Anyways I might fuck around and start a business this year

Sure, but I'd argue this is barely even my "weirdo" account. The only thing that makes it weird is I've drawn a fursona. Normie stuff would just be expressing more about my life and sharing my non-furry OCs here too. My true weirdo freak account would remain the same

Fair! I've been feeling frustrated with being fragmented online (professional main account, this furry sfw account, and my nsfw account). I just want people to not be weird and look too much into my personal life if I share more of that, or to bring nsfw to my sfw space, if that makes sense

🌸🕊️

#bird

Basically, main has felt like more and more of a drag lately, and the furry community has been nothing but kind and celebratory of my art. I feel genuinely appreciated here. And I would like to repost some of my art and talk about the projects I'm working on.

hey can yall be honest with me real quick

I think I want to stop posting on my main and start treating this like my main... BUT. I may become more lax about "crossing the streams", like talking about my art, life and OCs, but in the furry space

Can we all be super chill and normal about that or

I still barely know how I want to handle this, honestly, I don't have control over the internet crossing the streams at this point
It just felt like a horror movie being like "uh oh... uh OH... UH OH"

Not someone liking something I posted on main, just to look at their account and scroll down their following list, seeing the accounts get closer and closer to proximity to my NSFW account LMAOO

Once life calms down and I find my rhythm, I would love to open up SFW furry comms on this account too. I'm not ashamed of my NSFW work, but it feels weird to show people kinky examples haha. Better just to keep them separated.
But it would be a delight to draw badges and general furry art too!

i had a recruiter screening about a job i want so bad it made me physically SICK
like my head was pounding and i felt so fucking stressed out at just the HOPE to get this job
this level of stress is not sustainable!!!

I hope in a few months I can look back at this time and see how much things have gotten better... But I also hoped the same thing a year ago.
FUCK, dude. I feel like I'm drowning trying to stay afloat.

Too anxious to sleep. But my eyes are so tired... But my anxiety has my heart racing and my stomach turning.
This week has been hell. The past year has been hell. People's kindness can only go so far until I'm just begging for a lifeline over and over again... I'm so fucking tired.

Thank you, that means a lot. It's been so stressful and unstable

Shit got so desperate I've applied for a job at Goodwill. Hope it pans out.

I just... I really need a W this year. And I really need this to work out...