Applecores in the Applecar

Omg they’re gigantic

Waffles is perfect. Happy birthday Waffles!

Having contempt for people who have contempt for me? No I’m aware.

Which zoo?

I didn’t think there was any novel mayonnaise-related ground for you to cover at this point.

She does this just to infuriate everyone around her and it’s very effective.

There’s a piece of lettuce dangling from my lower lip. By the 15-minute mark, my dedicated CSPAN camera is the most-watched feed in America.

I got it triple-wrapped, you see, because of the aforementioned buffalo sauce, and I am laboring under the delusion that if I slowly peel back one fold of paper at a time, that’s less distracting than just getting it over with all at once. There’s a man behind me trying to murder me with his eyes.

Very slowly opening a Pub Sub and taking 20 minutes to eat it while everyone around me is whisper-betting on whether I will spill buffalo sauce on my white shirt.

I countered this by committing to doing a whole lot of work to improve our data quality. Therefore if someone magically invents an AI that doesn’t drain a marginalized person’s water source just to hallucinate answers, at least it won’t be garbage in, garbage out.

Told my boss that I absolutely won’t be listing any AI-related performance goals this year, as I am ethically opposed to using it and also it doesn’t fucking work for our purposes.

Be bold, friends. Reject the ham-fisted attempt to shove it down our throats.

Which pub?!

Every fifty year old man in my vicinity was losing his mind

Famous-ish person I saw the most times at the airport

I hollered.

Paul Bearer as the front of a float

Don’t tell me what the Inca theme is unless it’s “mildly famous people from Mobile.” I saw it coming down the street and said “that’s either Gomez Addams or Paul Bearer” and the scream I scrumpt when it was Paul.

Home in bed with my kitty cat listening to the Mardi Gras parade 🥰🥰🥰

A sparkling wine and the screen from a Delta One seat

I have never been so happy to hear the dulcet tones of several middle-aged Atlanta flight attendants. There’s a Diet Coke in my very near future. Homeward bound!

Ohhhh I was concerned for a second.

A bottle of Activia but in Russian

Comrade Jamie Lee Curtisova Poop Yogurt

Efes beer in a glass in a Central Asian country

Can check

BITCH THE CONFEDERATE ARMY LOST A HOME-AND-HOME SCRIMMAGE SERIES, LOST THEIR FUNDING, AND BECAME A REC SPORT

0-1 ALL TIME WORLDWIDE.

I miss my snuggly kitty. Comrade Potato Cat is not cutting it.

RIP!

Or the Hoggly Woggly

A woman bundled up in layers. She’s wearing a scarf, balaclava, beanie that says “1946 Callaghans Mobile, Ala” and hoodie. All you can see are her exhausted eyes.

One more layer on top of this before I venture out

Snow, sky, industrial equipment, not a single tree, and the same group of old men in identical parkas everyday.

The universe was like “oh you’re obsessed with Heated Rivalry? Ok go spend 2 weeks in a place where everyone speaks Russian.

Btw it’s -2F and you’re working the entire time.”

Near what

Amazingly I made it until 1:10 PM on Sunday before I yelled “I hate this place!”