Priestess Malyssa🏳️‍⚧️

Next Monday is more Mystic Knights

SCP-LV-426

Class: Alarming

Containment Procedure: Stay the hell away from these freaks.

Description: SCP-LV-426 is an anomalous cognitohazard that renders Alien "fans" (SCP-LV-426-A) completely incapable of counting when discussing the number of Alien movies, forgetting the number 6 exists.

Kinda makes me wonder if the Yomi aliens have any ancestry from Bilsardian aliens. Like maybe they left, like the Mysterians left Earth or the Xiliens left Orion.

I mean... Mechagodzilla 2 is no joke but that thing would get OBLITERATED by the Daimakan. The Daimakan is way too powerful.

Truthfully I get kind of irrationally angry at the idea of anything Bilsardian not being green or silver.

Even their fucking wine is green. Why are they not green in the anime?! WHY?! Wrrryyyyyy Dx

Also I have a pet theory that Bilsardia had a reverse Planet of the Apes situation happen between the 1970's and 2030's.

So there were green space apes first, but the definitely-not-just-Klingons overthrew that civilization.

I'm still mad the anime Bilsards aren't green, though >:(

And instead of Godzilla they have a stroggified space goose that's kind of a coward.

And instead of rats and plagues they have Hedorahs.

And instead of Zordon's goofy crap you get a Mecha-Gigan and a Mecha-Rodan and such.

Like imagine you're talking to what you think is a Star Trek alien, and then you realize the whole time you've been talking to a space bug in a human suit.

A space bug from a planet with space dinosaurs and space pollution that's just like Earth but *wrong* and *way worse*.

I've been up for 3 hours now and all I've done is talk aboot Godzilla movies.

But like, the aliens are so weird, though. Instead of being humanoid because of some boring "progenitor race" excuse, the explanations are either "they're lying" or "a cosmically horrifying coincidence."

Also my favorite Godzilla Kenny is Sara. Who is... probably the most mature character in the entire series? Despite being like, what, 9?

Yeah that's right, Miki is second to Sara. Idunno, fight me I guess. Sara's just THAT good.

3rd is Ken Yano from Hedorah. You know why.

I am going to stick to my guns, however, and insist that Saeko Matsumiya is a Kenny, and also Miki Saegusa doesn't fully "grow up" until Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, where she actually starts taking responsibility and making her own decisions, instead of just being used as "tactical psychic teen."

No seriously, listen to me. Metphies is...
1. Psychically connected to their monster (Ghidorah)
2. Can summon/control them like a pokemon
3. Mature adults don't join death cults
4. He looks 19 but is actually 4,000 years old

He's NOT a Kenny because Gen Urobuchi is too genre savy.

But...

So, I started writing this thing aboot Kennies in Godzilla movies, but got way more interested in talking aboot the edge cases. Y'know, "legally" adults but still childish characters that fit all the tropes.

And I realized in ANY other anime, Metphies would be an evil Kenny.

Sometimes I really feel like I have more in common with Machiko Soga's characters than Elvira. Maybe my true calling was never to be a horror host after all, but to be an evil witch queen of darkness that sends one monster a week in order to conquer the Earth.

That or a dinosaur.

All in all I'm pleased with my evil creatures.

Next week I might send out an evil prism and a suitmation Sachiel. Maybe I'll even make a shitty late 90's CGI cyclops or something.

Bemstar: looks like someone tried to flatten an owl
Plooma: stupid name
Muruchi: like Raiga but good, the only monster powerful enough to stop Ultraman. By teaching him why monsters appear they almost convinced Jack to sit that one out. Looks less like Godzilla than Raiga, but spiritually...

Monster Reviews!
Takkong: a football that can feel pain
Zazahn: green muppet
Earthtron: like a Godzilla/Gigan hybrid
Kingsaurus III: best monster ever
Gudon: whip cactus
Twintail: changed my mind this is the best one
Seamons/gorath: they have the spirit within them
couple more...

PriestessMaly - Twitch Maly's Monster Movie Monday: Ultraman Jack-a-thon!

Takkong, Earthtron, Kingsaurus III, Twin Tail, Seagorath, Bemstar, Muruchi, PrisMa, King Bockle, and a bunch of other cool stuff, iiiiiiit's Return of Ultraman :D

And a little weird Anno stuff too

AND Cookie's Bustle

Oh right, so this is what I'm doin' today

The episodes I have down here as "musts" are:
1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 13, 14, 18, 31, 32, 33, 35, 50, & the Anno fan film

The "maybes" are:
10, 21, 23, 34, 37, 38, & 51

How many of the extra episodes we do depends on how much Ultraman Jack I can stand!

Sincerely, if anyone has any advice or can offer any help getting the attention of @discord.com so I can get the support staff to address my problem, I desperately need it.

I've tried to submit support tickets, I've tried reaching them via twitter, and I've tried calling. I cannot get a response.

Twitch Twitch is the world

Gamera time

and also time to pick a discord alternative because @discord.com is too much of a fucking coward to respond to support tickets because they can't afford to hire anyone to work on support staff because everyone's leaving their shitty unsafe platform

@discord.com hey can y'all actually start reading my fucking responses to your support tickets and taking action? It's been over 24 hours now. The hacker had better tech support than you. No wonder you're hemorrhaging users on this horrifically unsafe platform.

DO something. TODAY.

ready for greenween \o/

Lessons I'm learning from my discord hacking incident:

1. I'm so cynical that I will believe a corporation is completely incompetent and user-hostile before I read a red flag as indicating a scam.

2. I'm officially one of those tech-dumb grandmas that's vulnerable to Nigerian prince attacks.

there are no adults

Why yes my discord account did get hacked, why do you ask?

It's like an episode of "Maly Independently rediscovers all human knowledge" except it's basic caveman knowledge from the olden days but everybody else forgot it.

Which I guess technically means I discovered it for the first time? I mean, prove me wrong I guess. Y'all don't remember.

So. I just figured out that I'm Conan.

I don't trust civlization and any attempt to "civilize" something is a threat. A threat to which the only appropriate response is violence.

aaaaand I think civilizaed people are too stupid and soft and don't understand how much danger they're in.

This Is How Kids Learn to Apologise for Existing YouTube video by Sticko Explains

I found this really interesting documentary aboot Second Life.

...and every other relationship I've ever had.

Also I'm kinda flipping out aboot getting a non-Anno Evangelion before another Gamera movie.

Not a complaint, I'm so fucking psyched to see literally anything besides more god damned Shinji whining and Asuka being so insufferable she ruins the show. I want new angels and new characters SO badly.

Other plans for Greenween:

16th - more Mystic Knights of Tir-na-Nog
30th - April Fools show

The 9th & 23rd are undecided. More Tubi? The Ultraman Jack show I promised? More fairies? I'm also considering a Pi Day special episode, featuring the movie Pi. Are there any pie monsters?