Adam

The ubiquity of Trump over the past decade is awful. It's like if every time I wanted to listen to music, I could only ever get Andrew Dice Clay.

1... Nf3+ 2. Kh1 Qxg3 3. fxg3 Rh2#. Pre-coffee brain strikes again.

1... Nf3+ 2. Kh1 fxg3 3. Rh2#

1. Nxg6 Nxf4 2. Nxe7+ Kh8 3. Bg7#

If 1... hxg6 2. Rxg6+ Kh7 3. Rxf6+ Kh8 4. Rxf7

I struggled to play the notes cleanly, but I always played the silences beautifully.

At dinner, my three-year-old asked me, "Why does that fat, unlettered swine protect sex criminals?"

It was powerful. The simple mind of a child can be profound.

That twisted old fruit.

I decided to skip this year's US Open, and thus missed my chance to meet the guy. Terrible loss for chess in this country.

1... Rg3 2. fg3 Ng5#

1... Qc1 2. Ke2 Nf4#

1... Qh1 2. Kh1 Nf3#

1... Rg3 2. fg3 Qh2#

1. Nf5 Ke6 2. Ng7#

Astronauts will always beat out anyone when answering the "So what do you do?" question.

Listen, buddy: I've been drinking black coffee out of the same thrift-store-bought Rice Krispies mug since W was in office. I'm not taking shit from anybody when I order my biannual white chocolate mocha.

Is that the ranch where my mom sent my German Shepherd?

Went to rabbit ears and decade ago. Wish I had anything left to cancel.

"YOU VOTE FOR THE PARTY OF PEDOPHILIA AND BABY KILLING!!"
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...
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"Hey, I notice you don't really come around much anymore..."

Fucker came out for a free sandwich.

One of my most memorable moments going through my late stepfather's sports card collection.

These guys make me feel so (undeservedly) tough.

Taking my family to Door County next month. Happy to see they're tidying up a little.

Last Tango in Paris

We were an item four days later. That was 18 years ago. Currently married with children.

1. Qd6+ Ke8 2. Bb5#

1... Rg2+ 2. Qxg2 Qh4#

1... Be2+ 2. Ke1 Nf3#

1. Nh5+ Kg8 2. Qe8#

1... e4+ 2. Ke2 Qd2#

1... Qa1+ 2. Kc2 Rxc3#