America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72

Two of these are under a 2 hour drive from where I live in Pennsylvania. Though I would have to assume they’re each probably cleaned out of the cheeses that made this list

✋

I got AIDS

Next month, there’s a fun looking thing happening in NYC the Saturday night before we check out & drive home. But we’d have to go from the East Village to Ridgewood and back, and it doesn’t start until midnight. So idk about that, man. I’m COOKED cooked now, huh. I am become fully Unc

I’d buy one from the store

Wet Nude Steve quit playin’, you play too damn much 😤😤😤

18 French fries served in the customer’s cupped hands

All the ppl on their way to your mom’s house for some head. Ha ha got ‘em

how do u know those guys actually existed

a man is dancing in a room with a pool table and a television . ALT: a man is dancing in a room with a pool table and a television .

when you’re too old and fat to be drafted for Army

The lynchpin of my primary high school social circle was an at-the-time closeted queer girl so from like 1997 through 1999, I saw Bound more times that I can count

Forbidden marijuana

Don’t nobody give a fuck about an Australian strait. Be serious right now

This looks like a sizzler

Nope

Nice

Breakfast wellington. Big log of breakfast sausage, the size of your forearm, covered in pancake batter and fried. Take this idea and run with it! Make my dream a reality!

How are birds mammals if lizards are reptiles?

Elvis Presley is the guy who’s dad invented pretzels

Bro u gotta get better at being mean

Y’all hear about this Bill Cobbsby guy and all his shenanigans? Hey, Bill! UNACCEPTABLE, buddy! Not ok!

The problem here is that you weren’t 17 when this album came out

Hold on, I’m writing this down

This thing rules, if you’re reading this skeet, stop what you’re doing and try this

I could kick this kid’s ass

thx, so are u

Thanks for reminding me that this first picture exists! I’ll be in my bunk.. 𝒿𝒶𝒸𝓀𝒾𝓃’ 𝑜𝒻𝒻!!!

FARTY SUPREME.

Farty Supreme