Eek Ack

does that mean that trauma is in the present?

It's not meant to be controlled. I advocate for integration and working with it, not against it. See IFS etc

how do we RECYCLE our T.R.A.S.H.?

hot take: I think autistic people happen to be more naturally sensitive

I have some internalized T.R.A.S.H. but I'll try not to be T.R.A.S.H. and when I make mistakes, I'll try to learn from them.

Hot take is that everyone is a little bit T.R.A.S.H. and some people are more mindful than others about it

ping me via dm or something; would be interested in having a longer conversation about this that is not this public

It seems like this issue is weighing on you a lot; I personally notice I feel a bit exhausted after reading your texts though I have been feeling quite overstimulated lately

Yeah this^

I feel compassion towards homeless and I need to learn to still ignore them. I paid for someone’s 20 dollar breakfast off the street. There’s no way doing this everyday is sustainable. Curious how much interaction with homeless do you consider “caring enough”?

The Dalai Lama does have some great takes! He makes me so much more optimistic

I can forgive someone for punching me last time and still recognize that there’s a risk that they may punch me again

Disagree. You can forgive someone as a person and still recognize that the person needs to have some boundaries set / may still be risky

Boundaries can be compassionate; less pent up resentment over time

Maybe compassion?

And paradoxically, the permission to allow it to take time leads it to go more quickly and smoothly

Parents, even if they are also a source of comfort in other dimensions

To be self-compassionate

To give myself space when difficult emotions arise and I'm not sure what to do. To recognize that I'm trying to do something good for myself even if it on the surface looks destructive.

I want to tell myself it's okay, no matter what. To be infinitely loving and unconditionally accepting of what I've done and to try my best moving forward.

so true

Or glorified prisons

Actually prisons in the US treat prisoners poorly. Overcharge to contact their family, OTC pain killers. Correctional Officers can be abusive. Well at least one

Know this cuz I took a class with incarcerated folks. Most of these folks don’t even have access to these classes

Slept maybe 16 hours last night. Slept at 2am woke up at 6pm

Either I’m jet lagged, sleep deprived, or both

Children are not vending machines that you throw money and care into so they will produce achievements and care for you unconditionally as you age and listen to you without talking back or challenging you. You have not built a relationship. You have created a hostage situation.

Finally, being witnessed and validated in a psychologically safe social setting is key.

True for adults (grief groups, therapy, community)

& for children (being asked questions, being held, comforted, allowed, given helpful language for conceptualizing and expressing the experience and its impact)

One option is to... cause my parents more pain by distancing myself from them.

Then I can work through my own challenges

so when I come back I don't get hurt by what they say anymore

The thing is that this might take a long time and idk if it will resolve before my parents die

#HealingIsntLinear

I don't know how to communicate to my parents that

A) I am impressed with how much they care and done for me physically

AND

B) I feel emotionally unsafe with them

My behavior rubs off as "you don't appreciate or care about us" / "you're very entitled or spoiled"

#parentproblems #emotionalsafety

(At some point I might want to dive into some of my insecure attachment relationship with EA and the EA community + potential parallels with how I got guilt tripped by my parents and how I guilt trip myself with EA. (That being said I appreciate the EA community a lot and am still part of it))

(At some point I might want to dive into some of my insecure attachment relationship with EA and the EA community + potential parallels with how I got guilt tripped by my parents and how I guilt trip myself with EA. (That being said I appreciate the EA community a lot and am still part of it))

When I know the larger dynamics of what’s going on and realize it’s not completely my fault it makes it easier to deal with

I think he’s afraid I won’t take care of him when he’s old so he needs to force me to care