Just4funsa

There is nothing wrong with sluts, I would know, I am a card carrying member!!!

I still can't believe that it's not butter!!!

the kids out here call it fapbread

I love that scientists made sure you couldn't turn a toaster on without it being plugged in

Lars the Viking Cat with his Axe

Mordecai the Hawkeye with his dagger

Columbo the Crab with his Kitchen stabber

Johnny Crow with his Chainsaw

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE ANIMAL

men don’t understand these hot flashes are like a severe weather event every goddamn time

a large thin crust pizza

sometimes a perfect thin crust plain pie is all you need

A person who likes to be around people is an extrovert, and a person who likes to be around cats is a purrvert!

Body: we’re a morning person now

Brain: the fuck we are

Getting the supreme car wash because I love sour cream

“So many thoughts, you should post one” is what it says at the bottom of drafts 😡

stfu, drafts 😡

might create a sex alt but im not sure me in sweat pants writing cant get laid jokes needs its own account

my new smart phone lets me use the flashlight app while I’m looking for my phone!

Sign in window reads “Sorry we are closed today due to short people. We will be back on Wednesday.”

Randy Newman: *nods approvingly*

a calf wearing a party hat and surrounded by different colored balloons

this is the future liberals want

That is a great answer, i just spit my damn coffee...

do you think caveman parents were telling their teenagers they were too young to have sex

#TitryTuesday Moobs will do the yard work AND trim that bush...

Up side, a black yoga mat hides dirt. Down side, a black yoga mat hides dirt.

Insecurity is like: do you like me, do you think I’m pretty?

Low self worth is like: you think I’m pretty? There must be something wrong with you if you like me.

Low self esteem is like: you think I’m pretty? I don’t see it.

Please end this "spring forward/fall back" bullshit I am DYING

my son is cleaning up the house because he wants to prove he can take care of a bearded dragon

Orgasms are the one area where women are multitasking geniuses and men are still loading the tutorial.