*approaches October slowly with a piece of apple in my hand*
01.10.2025 14:22
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Look, I love dogs and cats as much as the next guy, but I think it's time as a society we collectively decide to mass domesticate another animal. Right now, I'm leaning red panda.
07.08.2025 23:34
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August doesn't get enough credit for being the worst month.
08.08.2025 13:46
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🥳
09.08.2025 22:43
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Thank you 🥲
09.08.2025 22:42
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I've helped her out -- can anyone else do likewise?
09.08.2025 20:07
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Laying on an operating table with a catheter being shoved into your jugular is not an ideal time to hear "your my 8th patient".
09.08.2025 19:07
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When they keep giving you advanced care directive info and you're like but I'm not even old yet. 🫠
04.01.2025 16:49
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sorry to ask again but
09.08.2025 19:01
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How much of this sleepytime tea does it take for like a 2-4 day coma
30.07.2024 04:52
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Live, laugh, launch a revolution
09.08.2025 18:31
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LEFT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has a tattoo in honor of a family member.
RIGHT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has facilitated and/or engaged in the sexual assault of over a thousand children.
09.08.2025 17:46
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I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
09.08.2025 18:45
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Sir, I'm gonna need you to put the hashtags down and slowly back away.
18.06.2025 18:34
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And like, obviously, it’s not a requirement, but it would be helpful if the things that annoy me also annoy you. So let’s start by going through this list.
03.06.2025 02:40
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We had a job interviewee not show up today. No call, no email. I wore a blouse for this, Erica.
04.06.2025 01:16
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When I close my eyes to sleep, I try to only think of puppies and kittens and Godzilla stomping on Mar-a-Lago.
31.05.2025 03:25
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Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.
26.05.2025 00:07
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😂
18.06.2025 18:26
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18.06.2025 17:41
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Venmo: SSparkles
18.06.2025 17:39
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It is humbling af to plead for help across 4 platforms and be ignored on all of them. HARSH. 🫠😂
21.11.2024 16:47
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Never know unless you try!
14.05.2025 23:28
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I just got Babbel so I can learn how to complain in other languages
14.05.2025 16:11
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I was about to yell at the guy who cut me off but alas, the vape pen is mightier than the sword
14.05.2025 16:07
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Loved that episode
14.05.2025 17:26
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😂
14.05.2025 17:26
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