That name … is not short.

“Your Honor, with your permission, I will refer to this case as Kevin.”

The timeous can stay at home.

Everyone knows that I’m the timiest (always late).

Counting. My old nemesis.

Me (day 1 of law school): “Just to be very clear, there is no math. Like none. Like not a single digit.”
Them: “Well, I mean, you have to calculate deadlines.”
Me: “D*mmit! I thought we had a deal!”
Them: “Also, the Hand formula.”
Me: “Imma burn this place down, I swear.”

Making stuff up *does* liven up prose.

Listen, your body needs dulce de leche. It doesn’t make its own.

How Trump and His Advisers Miscalculated Iran’s Response to War

Have they tried tariffs?

www.nytimes.com/2026/03/10/u...

The Strait of Hermes. It’s how the fancy bags get to sea.

“For those interested in how Tolkien was first exposed to Welsh” is such an excellent opening. You nerds know you are. (I am one.)

On mars!

And judge was like “please submit this explanation on recycled paper with a separate affidavit swearing that you submitted it on recycled paper.”

It’s giving human-teenager-gets-hugged-by-parent.

a cat is laying on a bed with its head on its paws and looking at the camera . ALT: a cat is laying on a bed with its head on its paws and looking at the camera .

It’s not the savings time, I just don’t like mornings.

Mich. L. Rev. sending a red scarf was overkill, IMHO.

a close up of a man 's face with the words any one of us could be a cylon . ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the words any one of us could be a cylon .

I thought that too, but then when I submitted, I failed a captcha test. What a way to find out.

Imagine the pitch meeting:

“So, Sean Connery? A Scottish swordsman? I think I see where you’re going.”

“No you do not! The Scottish sword guy will be played by a French dude. Connery plays Juan Sánchez Villalobos Ramírez, Chief metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain. With a Scottish accent.”

See my forthcoming, “Air Power at the Founding”

JC: I come as a thief in the night and no one not even angels and stuff know when I’m coming.
Them: Okay but what if we bomb Iran?
JC: ???

We’ll wake you when Jesus gets here.

☝️

Did we try torpedoing a ventilation duct? Throwing some jewelry into their largest volcano?

Okay, but this document is obviously a war on typography.

Prediction: Jesus ain’t coming back for this.

Fans blew the roof off waterpolo venue. 10yos all brought their A-game. Most exciting live sporting event I’ve witnessed in a while.

(I passed. But I went to law school instead.)

When I get nervous, I make jokes. Sometimes it helps. As it happens, the polygraph is one of those circumstances where it doesn’t.

Once had to take a polygraph for a job I applied for in DC. Checked in with security guard, some surly soldier-y looking dude in full camo. He asks if I’m carrying any weapons. I hold up my hands, look him dead in the eye & say “Just these hands.”

He laughed & laughed. Wasn’t that kind of job.

Such a good headline. Must prop up MAGA agenda by doing the number one thing the MAGA people say MAGA agenda is against. This is like MAHA banning chiropractors hawking supplements and raw milk on YouTube.

Which school has better skiing?