I looked up the science. It's pretty interesting.
11.03.2026 05:06
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🤣🤣🤣 you give them too much credit. That would imply they're smart enough to graduate from clown college
10.03.2026 17:17
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So the US Govt is just a clown car full of pedophiles.
10.03.2026 17:12
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What has Christianity done for you? Making a cross on a mosquito bite doesn't even work.
10.03.2026 14:02
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Most of your pet pictures are better looking than your selfies.
10.03.2026 12:52
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The science? Or why am I so stupid?
10.03.2026 13:09
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I had no idea that butter explodes in the microwave.
Huh.
10.03.2026 04:51
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I remember about 20 years ago, talking on the phone with my best friend for hours about nothing.... that sounds like a for real nightmare now.
08.03.2026 14:05
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At an interview...
First question: Describe yourself in 3 words.
Me: Not very good with numbers.
08.03.2026 11:31
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You would never guess how many friends I’ve lost because I keep saying “you serious, Clark?” after everything they say
08.03.2026 13:08
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It's like I woke up in a different time zone.
08.03.2026 13:43
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Magic markers aren't so fucking magic.
06.03.2026 06:13
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Being part of that reactionary flame throwing is over for me. We’re marching forward hand in hand or not at all fuck that reactionary bullshit these people don’t control me. We’re doing positive forward or you’re on a different ship.
06.03.2026 05:19
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See, no one's bitching about egg prices anymore.
04.03.2026 18:01
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One day, I'll find an enchanted log that's not in my toilet.
04.03.2026 15:29
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On this day in 1994, Billy and Dusty from ZZ Top married the twins from the Shining.
04.03.2026 05:16
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If dinosaurs developed rocket technology, this shit would've been different.
01.03.2026 15:16
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My spirit animal is a squirrel in traffic
26.02.2026 22:26
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inventing pills for blueballs and calling them scroTUMS
25.02.2026 16:05
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i can tell when tv shows use artificial cat meows because my cats are fluent and they roll their eyes
25.02.2026 04:37
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I still test 9 Volt batteries with my tongue.
24.02.2026 00:57
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Don't make me get up from this floor, or it's going to take a really long time, and I'm going to look stupid.
24.02.2026 00:50
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I'm convinced Zima would still be around if they had gone with my ChimpanZima ad campaign.
23.02.2026 17:53
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Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.
22.02.2026 14:06
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Face it, we've been lost since the Shaggy D.A. retired.
22.02.2026 03:47
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Man, Roosevelt Franklin was the coolest fucker on the planet.
20.02.2026 01:27
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Book page found in Logan's Run - the mythical pedophile graveyard is said to be located in Washington DC. While there is no concrete evidence of its existence, it makes sense that aging pedos would become politicians to avoid prosecution. Old piles of viagra recently found add to its mythology.
19.02.2026 22:20
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Today, in order to demonstrate my faith, I smear my entire forehead with ashes and use my finger to write "wash me".
18.02.2026 16:07
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You guys will always be my drafts folder. (affectionately)
16.02.2026 20:21
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