The Bystander

Isn’t she?? Anytime ✨

A person, possibly a squirrel, sits on a tree branch surrounded by leaves. It holds a dark red flower in its hands.

The same squirrel holding the same flower, taking a bite of it

The same squirrel, holding the same flower, taking another bite

The squirrel holds a much smaller remnant of the flower, and looks directly at the camera, realizing it’s been Spotted

Make sure you take some time to refuel, like this person in my camellia tree

It’s amazing how often these days a piece of information causes a straight up stomach-dropping-on-a-rollercoaster sensation…and this just may be today’s saddest example

Yeah, I really think you have to have been in at some point to sell out

I mean, this statement genuinely makes no sense. Not even on the surface. And it’s just one of the great mysteries to me that like, every now and then, some company’s board is like, “I think it’s a really good idea to give this man another billion dollars…this is gonna pay off for us.”

Alysa Liu was amazing. And I’m still convinced (as I am after every time I watch figure skating) that someday, a figure skater will do a routine to Passin’ Me By—and when she does, she will be unstoppable

A white cat with orange spots on his head and shoulders, lies on a bed, looking over his left shoulder at the camera with a smile on his face. His orange tail is crawled around the left side of his body.

We’re very sorry to hear that—and wishing you the best. These are tough times. Hang in there

Yep, nothing says “noble legacy” like Marco fucking Rubio clomping his way down a staircase

I’m not normally very cool, Lisa, but if you greeted me with this, I would do my best to make an exception, and you’d get that shit right back

I remember when I learned this lesson in elementary school. It was a day where we were supposed to bring international dishes for some celebration, and I got my mom to buy a bunch of peppers, chopped them all, removing the seeds with my hands, and then woke up in the middle of the night screaming

I’m so, so sorry… I had my old guinea pig for seven years, and losing him was devastating. He was such a good bunny, and I know he’ll be missed by all his admirers.

Fuck you Coinbase. Fuck you for being part of the problem, and fuck you for your commercial that went on long enough to make me think I was stroking out for a moment

Honestly, when this is happening, who the fuck needs to have the world tell them when the Super Bowl is or isn’t

Oh yes, that’s actually perfect practice!

And definitely no conclusions to be drawn from that whatsoever…

Oh my god—you’ve got the stare down perfectly (when I was in grad school I had to write something for the MA puppeteering students, and one of the things they showed me was how they learned to stare into the backs of the puppets’ heads while performing in a way that was neutral but gave them life)

I have an actor friend who’s worked with another great leader, the director Richard Linklater. And amazingly, “He’s a Dude. He’s Just a Guy, Man” are the exact words he said to me to describe Linklater. Word for word

Oh, but the execution of that plan…flawless

I got to see one of his solo shows (Sexaholics) on Broadway. They had like a late morning show on Sunday and kept the front row open for people who wanted to line up day of the show and try to get tickets. I got them. And, yeah, seeing him on stage was as fucking awesome as you’d imagine it would be

What the fuck. I guess the melancholy is just the icing on the cake

Emojis today may be diluted down to nothing but I kinda feel like this one has the power of a thousand suns

Yeah—same reaction. It’s hard for me to grasp being so out of touch. A platform is meaningless if you’re not using it to say anything—which Dem leaders aren’t. And it’s insanely upsetting to suggest that they need another way to communicate when WE’RE already communicating and they REFUSE TO LISTEN

*because she was ASKING about

Fucking typos

Let’s be very clear: Kaitlin Collins didn’t smile because she was about victims of horrific sex trafficking & assault.

And Trump needed to be asked as a follow up WHY he thinks that’s something she should be smiling about, or why he thinks that’s the right time to criticize a woman’s appearance

A great thing about “Murder, She Wrote” is, if you grew up in LA in the ‘80s, you regularly see the actor parents of the kids you grew up with appear as a murderer, victim, or red herring. All frozen in time, looking just like you remember them when they drove you all around in their Jeep Wrangler

Oh my god, it’s all spectacular and glittery and I WOULD EXPECT NOTHING LESS

It’s my understanding that around 90 have left from CDCA alone—don’t remember the exact size or the office, but I think somewhere between 1/3 and 1/4. On top of all the obvious reasons, even less surprising if you’ve ever heard Bill Essayli open his mouth

Don’t know why, exactly, but kinda feel like she would’ve loved this post

I was there when they played with Ozomatli outside the Democratic Convention in 2000 in LA and a riot broke out. And that was protesting AL GORE (kind of generically, anyway). It was unforgettable. We are sooooo ready for that moment now

If you’re looking to revisit some Catherine O’Hara in her honor, and you haven’t seen Game 6, I highly suggest you do so

Feels right