Rushzilla!

Me: wee, I'm a top performer on gig salad!
He: which is really funny cuz in real life, you're a total bottom.
Me: 😑

Pov: your parents get a digital thermostat and your sister sets the password to peepeepoopoo

ASIAN COMEDY ALL-STARS is back this Sat (Nov 23) at the Rivoli & our headliner James Roque has a message to Swifties and non-Swifties in Toronto about it!

Fair, fair

Woof that was super late for work

What's going on, Bluesky?

Imagine coming out to your parents as poly out of spite, cuz I just... Uh, I just did that. 😅

Kristi Noem shooting her 14 month old puppy cuz it was acting up is so evil it feels like a caricature of a conservative person - was she created by The Onion? Jeez.

The Juice Is Loose 🥴

When tf are we digging up those time capsules that we buried while in middle school?

People born in the year 2000 are 23 years old now which makes no sense cuz it was the year 2000 a few years ago.

I got a 7million Scoville hot sauce in my eye last night. And morphine did not help.

Now that I've been on an nationally airing commercial, I can finally treat myself to the fancy new laser hemorrhidectomy that isn't covered by
OHIP.

IJBOL is in. LOL.

Me: So a couple of production companies are looking at the movie script I wrote!

Dad: Make sure whatever you do, you're ethical and don't commit any crimes.

Me: What do you mean?

Dad: Just don't do anything illegal!

Why is it so fucking cold today, holy shit

Pee-Wee Herman died of cancer he was battling for the last 6 years. He was 70.

Sinead O'Connor did nothing wrong. Rip.

If you needed to cry right now, here's your chance.

There are enough comics named Rush, okay????