Bananas after a 5 minute walk home from the shops
13.04.2025 15:05
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Bananas after a 5 minute walk home from the shops
Just put down a deposit for a bottle of olive oil
Leave him on a porch in broad daylight
‼️‼️ Some personal news‼️ ‼️ A WeTransfer link I sent is about to expire
Roses are red, violets are blue, I really thought I’d learn more on this horticulture course
Why is everyone so annoying
Look at this lil puddin
Slept funny and now I can’t move my neck fully on one side. Don’t think 2025 is gonna be for me actually roll on 2026
“2025 is gonna be my year!” Don’t be so selfish, you can’t just claim a whole year
Christmas isn’t over until I say it’s over
I am stressfully relaxing
Three wise men? I highly doubt that
Had to settle for two squares of dark chocolate. I’ll have my sticky toffee pudding fix before the year is out 🙏
Ooof living the dream
I’m having visceral cravings for sticky toffee pudding. With a blob of vanilla ice cream on top. Proper vanilla, must have black specks in. If someone could drop me off a bowl that would be great.
I’m NOT feeling very CHRISTMASSY this is an EMERGENCY
Comfy?
Get the London look* 💋
*misery
Podcasts will be in the middle of the morose and sobering subject matter, and then cut to an ad break that’s like AT KFC WE MOTHERCLUCKIN LLLUUURRRVEE CHICKEN!
“Get well soon!” I’m fucking TRYING quit pressuring me
He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s got distracted, he’s looking at vintage Boucle armchairs on Facebook Marketplace
I can confidently say that this year has been completely and utterly shit
I love scrolling Instagram and seeing that one of my friends has liked the same unhinged video as me
‘Tis the season to get fucked off with these pricks again
Them: What are you thinking about?
Me: How terrible that movie with Lindsay Lohan and James Franco looks in ‘The Holiday’
I think we can all agree that this was the best thing that happened in 2024
Thank you!!
Been on heavy pencil for a commercial for three years now. Fingers crossed 🤞
I’d rather go to a toilet factory than go to Winter Wonderland
Spotify wrapped when you’ve got insomnia is like “you listened to 12 HOURS CONTINUOUS WHITE NOISE” 365 times this year which puts you in the top 0.000001% of listeners!