(°○°)

I told him you said that and he did the "choo choo" arm motion

Dad said I'm gonna have two new brothers because he "beasted on the pussy" and "got your mama double pregnant."

When its my turn to sing "Five Golden Rings"

Running my hands over a $70.00 kitchen knife, "I call it Glamdring, or Foe-Hammer"

Damn, RIP

They’ve got people in the news nowadays that i’ve never seen before in my life

It's beautiful.

IF I HAD BEEN BORN IN A DIFFERENT TIME AND PLACE YOU WOULD NOT BE READING MY WORDS ON REDDIT, BUT HEARING A CLIP OF THIS SAME SPEECH BEFORE A GODSPEED YOU BLACK EMPEROR SONG.

[Trump via facetime] what are we wearing

[RFK jr] jeans and a grey tshirt

[Trump] wow. Let's start

RFK raises an arm and flexes, then the other, then lifts his shirt and clenches his abs. Donald mimics the movements he sees on the phone.

[Trump] we have an incredible body, don't we. OK, bye bye.

Naoyuki Kato, I believe

Giving all the moids in well fitting Florsheim's my Golgo 13 stare as I clomp around the halls of power in my size 17s.

Dig and burrow, I see no light
Blind One's Friend am I
Blither blather says this 👆 one
For he loves the Sky

He does not know the secrets of genial Brother Vole, nor the Dusty Mystery of Sister Mole.

If you try to toss something into a trashcan and then miss, I will pretend I didn't see.

But I did see. So did the woman at the front desk. Every mistake you've ever made has been seen and cataloged. We all know. Everybody.

[Trying to impress a goth girl] so anyway, I turn around and see Freddy. Oh, uh... do you know Freddy? Freddy Kreuger?

[Looking down the vertiginous heights, past softly whispering leaves to see the elves milling about the roots, mournfully strumming on harps and lutes. One guy remembers how he saw a bird die one time and starts sobbing] I have to get the fuck out of Elf City.

Ever since they put a pig heart in me people have been very cavalier in attributing my behaviour to the heart. I am enjoying bigger breakfast after a light dinner last night, not "giving into the pig".

Jimmy John's should have a wet market where you can turtles and stuff.

Thanks and right back atcha!

It just makes the whole ecosystem worse!

You get me

I also have "realized I have a strong ick" about something

Taking off my shoes to show the President that I have two, small, delicate "Lotus feet." He gives a low, appreciative whistle. "Wow. Look at that." He nods at a Marine who raises a mallet and smashes Marco Rubio's foot.

Mr. President, what is this man's shoe size?

I dunno, might be worth doing some thinking about why so many tech ceo's primary skill seems to be "spending investor money" and not much else, but they keep getting more investor money.

"Grab and flee" + "Hide and seek from the much higher HD monster" style dungeon crawl, but its a wall monster has legs

For me and my fellow Early Risers, today is known as "Delight Savings"