Matt Rose

Hahaha, definitely need to read both Desert Santa AND Dear Dr. High-Kungly Seductive Mistake

iPhone voicemail transcription has renamed my cat from Bamboo to Rambo

You should have pretended to be on the phone and squeezed beside him going "Incredible right? Sucks to be the other guy! He's getting the news right about now apparently!" and grabbed two bottles of champagne.

💀

Glad to be of service ☺️

This is no way to congratulate someone who has just beaten Hollow Kngiht 💀

Yeah it's alright. Or if you want it as Benoit, "I fiyund it to be uhhh, most agreeable uhhhh, a skuhull emohojii"

Because I am good at it and I enjoy it 👍

Hello all. I have a new video up. In it I drop in off a radiator. I had initially planned to film a full skate video for this segment as I used to be EXCELLENT at skateboarding and am still OKAY, but I rolled my ankle a few days ago and so can barely ollie right now. Anyway BYE.

NO DONT SHOOT HIM

YES 🥇🥇🥇

Soundtrack includes: Christmas in Hollis, Let It Snow, Winter Wonderland.
Times the word "Christmas" is said: 18
Protag's wife's name: Holly
Is at any point a terrorist's corpse dressed up as Santa?: Yes

Happily disregarding this verdict.

Thank you everyone for entering to win a T-shirt! Even though most of the entries were from Twitter, the winner was from here on Bluesky! And it's you Jay @scogean.bsky.social ! Your prize will be with you shortly, big congrats my friend 🙌

I am more than happy to ship international! You have been added to the prize draw my friend, I'll be picking a name out of a hat later.

I’m not gonna wear this T-shirt I wore in tonight’s video again, does anyone want it? Men’s size medium. Comment if you want it and I’ll pick someone genuinely at random tonight, follow you if not already, you DM me your addy and I’ll post it out to you because WHY NOT EH

Today in Hearing One Half Of A Phone Conversation: a woman on the train going 'all the more reason to empty your freezer, then. ALL THE MORE REASON.'

This meme is from the future. You won't understand it yet.

"I can't even imagine how you must be filling right now"

Wow I found these really overpowering of overcoming of!

Thank you very kind ☺️

Oh hey there

No: whilst I do not encourage this act, it was surprisingly okay 👍

In tonight's video: two separate memes about Lindsay Lohan, an impression of a seal honking, and I eat a spoon like a hard white Pringle.

I know 👈😎👈

Coolest I've ever looked

@alexhorne.bsky.social Week 4 #taskidea ennit.

'Make Alex a promise. Most poignant promise passionately delivered wins. You have 10 minutes.'

Then as they're leaving the room you hit 'em with a second task, y'know á la Columbo "oh sorry, just one more thing.."

'Break your promise. Fastest wins.'

The thought of gravy so thick you have to PIPE it on makes me feel every single negative emotion besides jealousy.

This comment from tonight's video has become one of my favourites 💀