Brock Mononymous

Vaping really takes the drama out of crying yourself to sleep.

I'm all boohoohoo *CKSHHHHHH* HUH *cough* boohoohoo

Working in customer service is getting hurt, and having a customer laugh saying "good thing that happened to you, or I would have sued you!"

Our society is broken

We should start calling them MLMs, for machine learning models. This will imbue the name with a necessary negative connotation, which is a good thing

#intersectionalism includes realizing that men's self worth being tied to economic standing leads to men trained to defend capitalism like their manhood depends on it

My 2026 prediction is that the president orders the extrajudicial murder of an American citizen by June

It's not a positive prediction

Prediction: they won't run Trump again, even if he makes it to the election.

They're gonna whack him, swear in Vance, and suspend the election because of the above.

And if I'm wrong? Good, I don't want to be right on this one

Ask him how he would write a Lorwyn novel

I don't need Spotify to tell me I hyperfixated on Sabrina Carpenter this year, fuck

As mad as I am at the state of the world, at least I saw Kissinger and Cheney out.

If I outlive Dubya, I got the trifecta

People asking @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social if he's the future of the Democratic party. He is the present of the party in NYC

I'm not real 🎵 no 🎵 I'm not real

No, nobody actually cares about the White House East wing, or whatever. It's a conversation starter, damn

I love how, no matter how hateful the coverage, 98% of pictures of Hunter Biden are thirst traps, and they keep printing them.

Like, would that I were such a slut that every public photo of me was so sexy 🤣

"Don't Worry I'll Make You Worry" but I really regret that that's true. I'm like this, my bad

I'm learning that there is a stereotype that yt people LOVE chickens, and I think I need to own up to being that yt peepo.

When people ask what my favorite dinosaur is, I ask 'extinct or extant?' and if they don't know, I answer with The Domestic Chicken.

I'll own the stereotype

I just saw a wasp ALMOST get stuck in my spider's web. Ole girl dodged a bullet there, you don't want that one

Lesbians keep me going. Thank a lesbian for me today

I am so fucking afraid of being the worst person you know.
If you've got friends who are more annoying than I, I breathe a sigh of relief, I cant handle being the most annoying person in the group, lol

Look, I don't care how big your dog is, or if he bites, I want a warning if he's super friendly and produces a pint of drool every 10 seconds

I think a lot of relationships crumble over time people create shortcuts, in our communication or our habits, but especially we create shortcuts in how we conceptualize our partner.

To be specific: if enough years pass, you start knowing HOW your partner might act, but lose sight of WHY

Man, remember when they made a sitcom spun out of the Geico caveman commercials?

I thought that was the beginning of the end of culture, was I fucking right?

You follow 3 of your homeboys' fet accounts, and suddenly this app thinks it understands your taste in men. Nice try, I look at my boys' porn in #solidarity o7

I read too much Tom Clancy in middle school, and now I'm a communist

If fucking Füm ads are appealing to you, try this instead: buy a pack of Black and milds with the wood tip, pull the tip off, sell the remaining cigarillo to your local panhandler for 50¢, suck on that wood tip til it loses flavor, and repeat

You will save so much money

I feel like rule #1 of being bipedal is Keep your hands free so you don't trip and fall on your face.

Everyone needs to hear this repeatedly before adolescence hits

The US life expectancy wont get back above pre-covid numbers at this rate

The marginalized really are the canary in the coal mine for this country and yet we get white folks saying “you’re overreacting” and “it’s not that bad” until it’s one of their own and then the panic sets in and they’re all “we gotta do something”

“WE”?

When you hear me say "the Spirit moved me"
I'm talking about the spectre haunting Europe, ya dig?

It's worth gambling on one hard game. Warn the lad it's a challenging game, and that these types of games intend for you to die a lot at first, give a little lesson in the value of a dollar, and spin the wheel

Remember: your politics weren't considered so radical before the Democrats slide to the right