𝙻𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚒𝚗

I love you funny people, and I love sharing the funny things I think about when they come to me naturally, usually out of pain or absurdity.

But I’m searching for something, a lost part of me perhaps. So I’m bound to say a shitty thing here and there too.

I guess I don’t really know what I want for sure. I think I need to get more comfortable with that being the case, with it being ok.

I know two things for sure. I’m searching for something, and I wish I felt like a part of something larger than myself, a community.

Don't fuck with me or I WILL give your kids kazzoos

Nobody knocks boots anymore

sometimes hope is continuing to put one foot in front of the other. keeping those plants alive. shuffling from room to room. cooking a nice meal. screaming the serenity prayer down by the interstate.

people don't understand that if i follow more people i will become so overwhelmed that i will cry and quit the app altogether

When things aren't going well, I always ask myself, what would the parasite that feeds on my aura do?

When my enemies choke a little, I hope they know that means I had a little extra time for wishin' that day

*points to fridge* ...and this is where I keep my feelings.

me: remember when I rubbed you out?

genie: don’t say it like that

Never let anyone tell you you can’t. Show them you can’t

I’m shy at first but once you get to know me, I will fart.

I appreciate your nuanced approach to reality.

just caught my brain tryna sneak out through my earhole again

Next time someone unnecessarily checks their phone when we’re out at a restaurant, I’m smashing it with the wooden mallet I carry specifically for this.

people that are an energy source need to get filled up too or one day you’re going to go to the well and find it dry

You should definitely nut November

Smh = sex might help!! 😏🥹

[creates an invite code to my vagina]

You’re a dick, but in a good way starter pack

You know, just because I keep aaying no cavalry is going to come to save us doesnt mean it wouldn't be nice if one came and did

Married people be in the dating pool bein hella greedy. Like get out and dry off and go home to your partner so us single folks can mingle. Just gluttonous

This platform needs more silly shitposting

while watching a ballet performance last night, I began to ruminate about how our precepts of humanity may be intertwined with our inclination to find beauty in physical movement, but then one of the dancers fell down and I pointed and laughed so hard I sharted

Just like twitter, bluesky is also the media, except it’s mostly breaking news about our buttholes.

Never underestimate the value of a well placed… “but Daddy?!… please?!”

Hey. You’re funny. I like you. We should be friends and never hang out but send memes