Laura Dime

I’m so jealous of everyone who’s a person

I hate when people eat Brussels sprouts near me

For me it’s usually dodecahedron

Hi! Does anyone know what’s going to happen?

going back in time to become a fossil fuel for everyone

Saw a guy wearing corduroy shorts two days ago and now all I can think about is how badly I want corduroy shorts

30 mg of Vyvanse 1.5 glasses of wine
🤝
Making me want to text everyone I’ve ever met

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you joy.

I threw away a permanent marker the other day. Today it showed up on my desk again with the word "permanent" slightly bigger and underlined

My hips don't lie but my pancreas has been arrested for fraud

If i was a wizard I'd use my powers mainly for remembering why I entered a room

reasons why I can’t meet up for coffee or attend your event/party:

• organizing post-it notes
• alphabetizing random shit
• making lists

My body feels like I left the emergency brake on.

walk up in the club like
“what up. i have made a grave mistake
i should not be here”

It’s of the utmost importance that you ask your boyfriend at least four times a day whether he still likes you

Nothing should ever happen

after Stranger Things is over, i hope that things can get back to normal

Doing the walk of shame (into an extremely crowded Harris teeter to buy a single jar of mayo and nothing else)

hydrate, you piece of shit

I know I’ve said this before but the gray sweater I bought today is going to be the one that fixes me

So did Havana Syndrome get sorted out?

Rockets owners expand talks to buy, move Sun

Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.

So like am I gonna be okay or nah

Still from Green Day Basket Case video, but with Beeker from the Muppets singing into the mic “Sometimes I give myself the meeps”

I’ve always called them my friends in law

Going to therapy lmk if you guys need anything

One aspect of my life is going wonderfully and one aspect of my life is going horrifically and between the two of them I have no mental space left to think about the other aspects of my life

I have 36 mugs but none of them are right for this moment

have your demons call my demons and we’ll work something out

Putting guacamole on like lipgloss to signal to potential mates that I can afford an avocado