pre-covid i used to always get corned beef hash at this self-serve breakfast buffet in laguardia. corned beef hash is already basically really nice dog food to begin with. i love it so much
i like to think of the kitchen as the “food zone,” because it’s where you store your food, it’s where you cook your food, and depending on your layout it might be where you eat your food. at first i was annoyed that this wasn’t getting any engagement but then i realized that i hadn’t posted it yet
60 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider
oh my god. they’re the foot clan
think i'm gonna go ahead and scoop the second half of this game into some tupperware. does stidham go bad in the fridge? does anyone know
the nfl: we make billions and billions of dollars every year
also the nfl: we can’t afford to give every team a super bowl trophy each year. we only have one and you can only get it if you enter a series of “best football team” contests
went to the store
the markets seem pretty confident that the next year is going to be called 2026. i still think it’s gonna be glenn. my money’s on glenn
i'm writing a screenplay called Heart Of A Champion about a guy who has a cold and has to sneeze and blow his nose all the time, but still gets a lot of work done on the computer. not sure yet but i think it'll probably wind up being a christian movie
i'm way better than all of the dogs in the dog show. i can ride a bike, i can cook meals, and i'm very familiar with computers. i can do all kinds of things that they will never be able to do
ice cubes are ridiculous. like yeah lemme just get a piece of water
zohran won
me and my wife outside a polling place with an i voted sticker
voted for zohran again
they’re calling the hogs in happy valley as dabo swinney and his boys have put the big ten on notice down in the swamp
i haven't seen a capital one commercial in a while. maybe they could sneak one in between pitches here
i would love to play center field when a no-doubt 430-foot home run is hit and run into the outfield wall at a dead sprint. as the camera cinematically pans up to follow the ball you briefly see me in the corner of the screen absolutely eating shit
if the blue jays win the world series, they will need to ensure that every member of their roster is at least 21 years old before celebrating with champagne. this is because the legal drinking age in canada is 21, with the exception of quebec, where the legal drinking age is also 21
mariners won
throw the ball, hit the ball, catch the ball. that's the name of the game right there
i've never been inconvenienced before and i hope i never will be. it sounds terrible
i know that the months leading up to the lexus december to remember sales event are an exciting time for many of you. it used to be for me, but most dealerships won't let me attend services because i named my kid toyotathon. they won't even let me wield the sceptre. i just thought it was a cool name
poor snake
i don't mean to single out baseball fans here, because you see this in lots of fan communities, but in certain corners people talk as though baseball is real. they think all the players are real people and the stadiums are places you can actually visit. to each their own, but that cannot be healthy
40-40 is a scorigami. congrats everybody
that’s nfl players for you. week after week, making it all happen. they can really put on a show
i’m a believer in ineffective altruism. i think that everyone in america should be issued a vga to s-video cable adapter and a bale of hay
i hope the chiefs go 7-10, back into the playoffs on whatever the 11th tiebreaker is, and win the super bowl because of a play called Billy Billbob Bobby 456 Seam Pot Pie Kablooie that we all have to spend the next five years talking about
homer in the bushes except it's the norman rockwell freedom of speech guy
jj mccarthy isn't a good quarterback
41-40 is scorigami, congrats everybody
