🤡Joker/JM🤡

Popeye...🤔 judge away..🤣

You should have zigged while I was zagging

This wasn't about a facial...
Maybe..

I'm back here and there

The coffee is perfect, just like my rack.

My happiness is directly linked to how strong my coffee is.

People… yuck..

Yes... Taco bell cuz they're stingy...

😬🤔🤣🤣

*gets extensions put on my pubic hair

a Bluesky, but just for shitposting

❤️

waking up from a nightmare into a nightmare should be illegal

You can't take it with you when you go, so leave no love left unspoken and no ice cream in the fridge.

get in loser we’re gonna spray paint small dicks on all the lifted trucks in this cow town

I dont know who needs to hear this, but dont dump pasta sauce on your partner's head just because they won't tell you what kind of pasta noodles they want

They should really be wearing eye protection!

-me, watching porn

Can someone wake me up when social media no longer sucks?

Thanks!

In the information era, ignorance is a choice.

Follow me for more aggressive anal advice

Fuck this nonsense... I'm getting rich tomorrow off the lotto and quitting my job...
My boss is gonna be so pissed...

Weirdo...🤨🤣🤣

Sometimes I pick up extra shifts at work because I'm a psychopath.

When life gives you clouds, make silver linings.

I have Reese’s peanut butter cups and KitKats. Winning!

[after a petty argument]

Occam’s vindictive girlfriend: *changes relationship status to it’s complicated*

a man says darling light of my life in front of a railing Alt: a man says darling light of my life in front of a railing

Hallmark movies show you how to fall in love with them, Lifetime movies show you how to kill them...

If I can’t touch you, kiss you and hold you...

Then I don’t want to think of you, desire you and miss you.