Doug

"pools are perfect for holding water"

to be clear: the one who looks like bigfoot is the most normal looking one, to me

so these three are the most normal looking ones they could get, huh?

me clicking at random spots on the MPV Player bar and announcing "Access scene 13" like Jean Luc Picard

A comic by Ryan Pequin a guy is looking through a photo album. his mom is there too, and this exchange occurs "Mom, who's the guy in this picture?" "Who?" "The tiny man you're bathing in the sink! Does Dad know about this man you cleaned? Did you cheat on Dad with this guy?" "Honey, that's you. You used to be a baby." [two panels of our protagonist struggling to conceive of a moment other than the one he is currently experiencing]

average Magibook user

Kelcie Mosely-Morris begging us to please respect the smol bean troops who only "signed up to serve their country"

oh whoops, either this nasty "won't somebody PLEASE think of the sadistic war criminals!" piece of shit disabled quotes, or she manually detached within 2 seconds of my post

anyone who "signed up to serve their country" after the dust from 9/11 settled knew exactly what they were signing up for, and they already get more sympathy than they will ever deserve

cover art of "The Great Gatsby" by F Scott Fitzgerald, with the disembodied eyes and lips floating in the sky

they even got the Stupid Asshole version of the cover art

everyone knows The Great Gatsby looks like this

i bet this shit sounds magical if you're fucking stupid

guy who's too dumb to realize that his father and his dad are the same person:

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

We're gonna miss ol' Gavin in 2040, when the two party system FINALLY boils down to choosing between "Democrat who only thinks Hitler was bad because he used meth" and "Republican who thinks Hitler should have pocketed the death camp budget and then just bombed his own cities"

"fuck up everything up" great work Doug

my actual IRL enemies have done less harm to me than the federal govt as led by the GOP — and I'm not even one of the people they've kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or murdered

what the fuck else am I supposed to call these ghouls while they fuck up everything up, using taxes I'm forced to pay them?

worth remembering, David Lynch directed “fix your hearts or die” specifically at transphobes. it wasn’t a generic “no mean people allowed” statement, it was said by his Twin Peaks character in defense of a trans woman he cared for and deeply respected.

I'm also a Doug who spells it Lector

[Guy who is angrier than anyone has ever been]: "You are HUMILIATING yourself by repeatedly acting so BUTTHURT, you need to GROW UP and start TELLING THE TRUTH"

[The guy he's yelling at]: "pototo chipe"

oops I lost the first person element while editing for character length, how embarrassing

somehow, fanart (with literal thought bubbles) is more palatable to me than fanfic doing the same thing

I'm imagining a novelization of The Legend of Zelda that starts "The old man held out a weathered sword, and gruffly (but not unkindly) intoned 'it's dangerous to go alone...'" and I might barf

i have never been a fanfic reader, but I just had a visceral reaction to this: I've always assumed such literature was written from third person

one can easily observe Sonic the Hedgehog, but to assume that you know his thoughts must be heresy, no?

James Bond on beach aiming a speargun offscreen

Top Ten James Bond one-liners

#10 Thunderball (1965) - James Bond wastes no time delivering his trademark wit after neatly dispatching a sneaking henchman with a speargun on the beach: “Get fucked, fucker.”

I'm no programmer/coder/software engineer myself, but I am 100% certain his vibe-coded "cleaner, slick unified experience" is fucking useless compared the terminal window he seems desperate to escape

I think a lot of us millennials & older really take it for granted that we were the last of only a couple generations where there was an all-encompassing campaign to encourage literacy. Everyone used to agree upon it. There were commercials with your favorite celebrities just being like, "READ!"

one of my favorite moments of TNG is when Picard is immediately unable to contain his horse autism

It’s a panel from powerup comics where the text has been edited: “what’s your opinion on women’s day as far as I’m concerned, all days are for women”

is it considered a threat if I say that I hope that everyone involved is subject to a fair trial that objectively examines their actions?

or that afterward, as a logical follow up to jury duty, the government has to implement "lever duty" to distribute the responsibility for what needs to be done?

I looked up the character's "canon" name and decided that it was wrong

i feel compelled to respond with another example even though it doesn't meaningfully expand the comparison (i got that Poster's Disease in me, i'm afraid)

I don't know how telephones transmit sound, but I DO know my buddy Tanner didn't shrink down to live in the handset

yeah, it fucking sucks

ah, "small business owner"

says it all, really

"AI is beginning to do things that the designers and programmers can't fully explain"

using this to suggest that LLMs are evolving in some manner assumes that the designers and programmers are competent and understand what they're doing

i do not respect those people enough to make that assumption