There are a few things I miss about the 80s. Being able to sleep as long as I want, my body not hurting all the time, music that doesn’t sound like it’s sung by robots…
You know what I didn’t miss? Worrying about a senile Republican president starting World War 3.
Disappointed. I’ve had Signal on my phone for like a week and a half now and I’ve only been added to one top secret Pentagon chat group.
At this point it’s pretty obviously market manipulation, right?
Also he sucks at golf and I wish more headlines would point this out.
Also looks like Trump is poised to win another golf championship at his own club.
Anyway, for millions of Americans nothing at all of consequence happened today.
I’d like to tell you what Fox News thinks of today’s protests, but there is _no mention of them whatsoever_ on their homepage. They are far, far less important than world-shaking events like “Dolph Lundgren went to the beach” and “Olive Garden no longer top casual restaurant”.
That’s it, I’m canceling your security clearance.
You know Kid Rock is waiting by the phone right now.
Knightriders
Worst timeline. Pre-condolences to Philly on your impending Super Bowl loss.
At least I can focus more on the snacks.
In the Super Bowl, Kansas City wins, which is an outcome that nobody who isn’t currently playing for the Chiefs wants. Even Taylor Swift is like “enough already”.
And that’s how sports works in the worst timeline.
…but Bills fans have tons of practice with that. It’s far worse to lose to KC, especially this lukewarm oatmeal version of Kansas City that we got this year.
Philly beats Washington. Washington hasn’t been to the Super Bowl in ages so it would be much worse for them to fall one game short.
Ok, given that we are in the worst timeline, I’ve obviously been giving a lot of thought to what that means for the NFL playoffs. Here’s what’s going to happen.
This week, Kansas City beats Buffalo. You’d think it would be worse for Buffalo to make it to the Super Bowl and lose…
So looks like Republicans are going to run that same playbook where they take turns casting meaningless no votes so they can pretend that they aren’t just bootlicking toadies. At least it’s familiar.
Collins continued, “I will remain deeply concerned about this until shortly before I vote for him.”
3/4 of the playoff games this week didn’t go the way I wanted but the important one did.
LET’S GO BUFFALO
Two more to go.
Surely the Chiefs winning is going to be the worst thing that happens to America this month.
Is this going to be like a Red Wedding thing?
If you want it bad enough.
Trump will just order the National Weather Service to turn the temp up.
It’s striking how this timeline keeps finding new and surprising ways to be terrible.
I think maybe Sam Darnold might not be that good.
lol, “us”. JD definitely has a misunderstanding about what his role is going to be.
It feels like if you took the uniform off of any given Steelers player you’d find an eight year old sitting on another eight year old’s shoulders.
This is quite the ass whooping.
First playoff game of the year was exactly like watching someone step on a rake over and over again.
Oh man, I missed it, but at 4AM today there were twenty 2024 hours to go.
Well, now I’ll only be able to tell what they looked like yesterday, so I assume they are following up with drastic plastic surgery.
Which is an elective procedure and not covered, by the way.
What’s a tortoise?
Biden should appoint Hunter ambassador to France, too.
Oh man don’t make me think about where Newt’s fingers have been.
