DO NOT under any circumstances ask your pregnant wife if she feels in charge after she says she feels large
12.03.2026 01:10
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DO NOT under any circumstances ask your pregnant wife if she feels in charge after she says she feels large
Somewhere on the spectrum between miffed and chuffed
Everything went downhill after we reached the summit
Barack Obama as a young man, wearing a brimmed hat, inhaling a cigarette
And chief cigs
𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓭, 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔡, &̸͚̠̆ s̴͚̈́̋t̷̡͂͆o̷̜͙̓n̸̺̓̈́ͅe̶͖̰̚d̵̤͂
Eat the rich! Not watch the rich eat
What she said: "I can fix him"
What she meant: castration
If someone were to make a hot dog out of rabbit meat, would it be a hot dog bun or a coney?
A brown dog cuddled into a smooshmellow and a stuffed turtle
Living her best life
I inevitably lose my nice sunglasses every winter because I go months without using them
If you think I'm painfully unfunny, it's because I find your laugh obnoxious
A loaf of sandwich bread and the pan that it stuck, tearing the bottom of the loaf apart.
Not every bread can be successful
The Shitposter's Guide to the Galaxy
Making my passwords so utterly obscene, I'll never accidentally reveal them
Freitag ist für die Freiheit
I'm starting to think that the most vocal proponents of AI don't really like humans or humanity
I think I might have swallowed a fish bone and have been feeling it work it's way through me the last couple days
Mock Funday
A pepper pepperoni pizza with a giant bubble
Uhhh that's quite the bubble on this za
My wife and I got takeout last night from a nice restaurant. As I was leaving the car when we arrived home, I picked up the bag and it ruptured, spilling spice infused oil into my lap, soaking me to the taint
Shoveling should be an Olympic sport
You wouldn't call a pregnant woman fat just as you wouldn't call a man with no legs short
A US curler wearing a "Columbia" uniform at the Olympics
The US curling team's Olympic uniforms are made by Columbia, which is confusing
Is a milk stout what happens when someone does nurse their beer?
A peanut is more pea than nut
I can't have my cake and eat it too, but I can have SAD and be it too
The 10-day forecast shows it cloudy every day here
A beautiful blue sky in CNY (rare, especially in winter)
An approaching shortwave in the distance, which is forecast to drop 1-3" of snow tonight
Only a couple more hours left of working before I can enjoy the weekend, which means this beautiful blue sky is bound to become cloudy
give 👏 knives 👏 to birds 👏
