Ellen 🫡

Here's a picture I took 7 years ago in Times Square

Every time an Olympic figure skater falls I feel like I'm going to be sick

Hey did anyone else watch Candace Owens claim her and Charlie Kirk went to an x men school for children who could astral project last night? Did I hallucinate that?

Idk I just really like our mayor.

The NYT reports that Air Force One has turned around due to a situation officials are describing as “creature on the wing”

Oh you don't like Bluesky? Have you tried being spiritually 62 years old?

Ugh I love being cozy on a cold winter night

Important conversations happening on r/SpongeBob

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Strahd von Zarovich!

My wife saw this and says to add that Sonny the cuckoo is not gay, he is ace and aromantic. Quote "He only loves Cocoa Puffs."

Every day I think, "this will be the thing that wakes my conservative family up". Of course it never is.

I'm so sick of waking up to headlines

good morning happy uh third day of the year

Mass Effect style dialogue wheel except the only dialogue options ever offered are "No, yeah, for sure." and "Damn, that's crazy"

Going home tomorrow 🙂‍↕️

Christmas Wrapping is second only to Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues for me as far as christmas pop hits. When placed in conversation with one another they reveal daunting complexities, especially when you add in #3, Dominick The Donkey by Lou Monte.

And that boy's name was Stephen Sondheim

Today I passed a billboard w/ an ai-ass nativity scene beneath a giant cosmic Jesus and big text asking "Do You Love The Man As Much As The Baby?" and I choked on the coke zero I was drinking while driving and I stifled a cough and the bubbles foamed up through my nasal passages. I felt so present.

I’m throwing a theme party where the theme is “everyone has to dress up as one of Roger’s personas from American Dad.”

I think Milhouse from The Simpsons should transition

i just dont know

Got myself a birthday present 🎁

Watching the election results coming in like

NEW YORK OR NOWHERE

my lib cannons are fully loaded

Hey, a lot of trauma from this time last year. Hopefully it goes better this time around!

Dick Van Dyke has OUTLIVED Dick Cheney

jack donaghy: "That information is classified. At least until Dick Cheney dies which is gonna be a long time from now. That man is mostly metal."