Matt Brosseau

It's clear that we've reached a point as a country that we MUST regulate Etsy witches.

I bet Don Jr. and Eric are really bummed out now that there's irrefutable evidence that their dad does send birthday cards.

The Left doesn't need Joe Rogan. We don't need a Trump, or even a Project 2025.

What the Left needs is giant combat mechs from Pacific Rim.

I've reached the point in adulthood where I still have my shot glasses from various travels and events, but now I use them for Pepto Bismol.

Getting told that I am reprehensible for hoping someone is dead by folk who bought Alligator Alcatraz merch is almost too "on the nose" for even this timeline.

I'm not trying to contribute to rumors of Trump's status amongst the world of mortals, but whenever the inevitable does happen, I think we should entomb his fascist minions with him like they used to with the pharaohs' cats.

Gavin Newsom finally figured out the most marketable way to make fun of Trump after 9 years.

It's that kind of urgent, Liberal leadership that enables him to do precisely what Trump is doing to unhoused and transgender populations, but with less pushback.

I'm within a couple of years of being the age that Danny Glover was when he first decided he was too old for this shit and, let me tell you, it feels like it.

Conservatives are so mad about Zohran Mamdani you would think he tied for fifth in an inconsequential college swim meet.

Do y'all think the fall of the Roman Empire was this depressingly stupid?

The closest America ever came to greatness was Scholastic Book Fairs and getting a personal pan pizza for reading over the summer.

The only thing I miss about Twitter is that it was the only place that I could directly bully JK Rowling

I appreciate God stepping in to finally settle the New York vs. Chicago debate once and for all

Do I know anyone who has codes for the McDonald's Minecraft items they don't want? My kids didn't get the chance to complete the sets.

They don't need the physical toys, just the codes on the back of the card.

There's a not insignificant percentage of people celebrating Easter today that would 100% have supported throwing Jesus into an unmarked van and extrajudicially trafficking him to an El Salvadoran extermination camp if he were here today.

I'm delighted that I always file tax extensions. I had no idea that, as an Autistic person, I was fully exempt.

Man, all these white supremacists are scrubbing a LOT of accomplishments from history that don't fit their narrative. It's like they're unsure of their supremacy or something.

If it wasn't for the clock on my oven, I would've completely forgotten that malevolent kakistocrats stole an hour of my weekend like thieves in the night.

If your circle of friends aren't discussing the need for revolution, get yourself a new circle of friends.

How are y'all expecting your kids to avoid relationships with bigots, fascists, and predators when you make them see them for Sunday dinner and holidays?

Elon, a 50-year-old creep, spending almost all of his time hanging out with a bunch of barely legal, sycophantic boys may seem weird, but he did tell us it was a Roman salute...

I have to admit, Ian Fleming's James Bond novels simply don't withstand the test of time.

For example, 1955's Moonraker features a primary villain who is a wealthy industrialist who builds rockets and is secretly a Nazi.

How are people supposed to connect with that today?

Listen, there are a lot of reasons to be worried right now, but we really need to panic if Hugo Boss releases a DOGE collection.

People are really out there saying that Musk is using his child as a human shield, and that's just insulting.

This is America. We've never taken any action to avoid children getting shot.

Emilia Perez is the type of movie that would win Oscars in the world Tropic Thunder is set in.

What dystopian young adult novels should I have my kids read or should I just have them watch the news?

I think I know what's happening... people are mixing up having Autism with BEING Hans Asperger.

Honest mistake, guys, but they are actually completely different things.

Trump's EO defines 'Female' as a 'person belonging, at conception, to the sex that produces the large reproductive cell.'

Fun fact: All human embryos start as female at conception. So, according to his own order, we're all female now.

#TheFutureIsFemale

Heck yeah, fellow #dragondads! Welcome to BlueSky!

While the country burns and wealth inequality hits French Revolution levels, our government finally found unity - in banning TikTok. Funny how gridlock vanishes when it's about restricting rights instead of protecting them. Even Gorsuch called out this paternalistic overreach.