John.

i think it's awesome that another jade is here. this doesn't stir any amount of conflicting emotions in me at all. i'm normal.

( ... )

i think

i think that's normal for me, actually...?

you'd think being a god would exempt you from getting sick.

bwuh,

i don’t think you said any words that meant anything in that entire sentence

it was pretty fun i guess.

one time i died

maybe there was some super important moment where i found my place in the harleybert family that i just never went through or something.

eugh...

this kinda stuff makes me feel like i sort of missed out on everything but not finishing up my copy of the game.

i don't know, i've never really asked any other john about this? maybe it'd be different for them.

this is embarrassing to admit but i stopped keeping track of my age, like... 5 years ago, give or take?

i don't actually know how old i am.

WE'RE THE SAME AGE, FUCK OFF.

how old are you by chance

im from 2009 man i'm too old for this shit

i don't know, maybe it's sort of different for you guys?
i never really saw any of these familial connections as like... super real, or anything?

jade is technically related to me because of some stuff i did in a lab once, but i wouldn't really introduce her to someone as my sister, you know?

who the fuck is freddy fazbear

i sort of forgot that you guys also have those names.
like, those are my buddies names.

the idea that there are some other group of people who also have them is kind of weird to me, even if it makes total sense?
like, that's how families work, duh.

"strilondes" so dave can beat out his sibling but i cant????? i see how it is.

why are we called the harleyberts. why does her name get to go first.

i guess this little bit of mine is sort of just poking fun at how stupid i used to be? because i used to get really worked up over small provocations or slights, and...

yeah. i guess it isn't really that funny without the context...
or WITH context, maybe.

that's just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said.

okay, um.

i don't really think you know me that well, so this might come as a suprise
but i am sort of known for doing this thing where i act really stupid and melodramatic about mundane problems?

i think slamming your head into a wall because you're frustrated is kind of stupid.

this is sort of a concerning thing to hear from somebody.

slamming my head into a wall forty times until the voices stop

i think she'd like the the postman by kevin costner.

pm............

no. just... no, man.
no.

what??? no, dude. it fucking sucked, i hate clowns.
now ive got a house with a bunch of these lame ass harlequins lying around and i can't get rid of 'em.

yeah, my dad was really into collecting these figures of various clowns and harlequins and stuff.

or, i guess he thought i was into them, so he got a bunch of em to try and connect to me??