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Elaine Allen

@elaineallen

I’m a mom and a writer. I’m a blue dot in a very red state looking for community.

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Latest posts by Elaine Allen @elaineallen

Target is doubling down on the dipshittery for some reason.

28.05.2025 00:44 👍 1706 🔁 263 💬 147 📌 19
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27.05.2025 10:07 👍 12532 🔁 1754 💬 697 📌 238
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Man Feared to Be Cognitively Slipping After Writing Book About Wrong President Devoting a 352-page book to unmasking a president who is no longer in office instead of the one currently creating global chaos indicates serious mental impairment, the experts asserted.

www.borowitzreport.com/p/man-feared... Best Andy has ever done

27.05.2025 12:47 👍 2353 🔁 558 💬 106 📌 24

If you’re nervous about a new partner seeing you naked for the first time just imagine them giving a speech.

26.05.2025 10:48 👍 159 🔁 16 💬 7 📌 0
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I, for one, welcome the arrival of our robot overlords.

26.05.2025 03:22 👍 647 🔁 104 💬 55 📌 20
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Opinion | Biden Is a Scapegoat. The Democrats Are the Problem.

“After all, it’s easier to find a scapegoat than an identity. But self-definition is a critical challenge for a party that must offer something more than fervent anti-Trumpism, however crucial resistance feels today.”

www.nytimes.com/2025/05/20/o...

26.05.2025 21:31 👍 1276 🔁 148 💬 120 📌 18
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25.05.2025 21:48 👍 979 🔁 177 💬 14 📌 4

If you make me change my password and then reject it because I've already used that password, may your milk go sour, your company go bankrupt, your children forsake you, your fields lie fallow, and your name be whispered as a warning and a curse until the end of your days.

24.05.2025 19:13 👍 82 🔁 10 💬 7 📌 5
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The orange felon’s vendetta against Harvard in just one photo.

25.05.2025 04:56 👍 35622 🔁 6174 💬 792 📌 307

Correct, Harvard today the rest of the universities tomorrow

25.05.2025 02:08 👍 6218 🔁 1626 💬 143 📌 44

Didn’t she cheat on her husband then get the guy she cheated with a White House job?

23.05.2025 19:33 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Who taught her how to spell discernment?

23.05.2025 19:28 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

@booker.senate.gov should spend a good portion of his time explaining his support for Kushner. Right now we’re all pretty sure he can be bought - and the ACLU will need to convince listeners that you haven’t spent our hard-earned contributions to pay him to attend this event.

22.05.2025 14:19 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

This is the only Democrat to vote for Kushner’s dad. I’m out.

22.05.2025 17:35 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Aren’t you the only Democrat to vote for Jared Kushner’s dad?

22.05.2025 15:05 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
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GOP grifters…

22.05.2025 12:04 👍 7496 🔁 2626 💬 369 📌 131
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Target sales drop in 1st quarter and retailer warns they will slip for all of 2025 Sales at Target fell more than expected in the first quarter and the retailer warned they will slip for all of 2025 year as its customers, worried over the impact of tariffs and the economy, pull back...

I can't change the whole world. But I can darn well drive out of my way to find some other place to shop besides #Target.
================
... customer boycotts have also done some damage during the latest quarter.

abcnews.go.com/amp/Business...

21.05.2025 13:50 👍 342 🔁 65 💬 24 📌 8

I voted NO on their “big, beautiful” bill because it will strip health care from 14 million Americans—including nearly 130,000 people in my district who rely on Medicaid.

22.05.2025 12:48 👍 23749 🔁 4528 💬 813 📌 151

The current budget bill is an atrocity and out-of-touch leaders like Chuck Schumer laid the groundwork by voting for the CR.

Appeasement and complicity do not work. When you bend the knee, they’ll break your leg.

22.05.2025 00:48 👍 19515 🔁 3998 💬 445 📌 203
Cobweb-Covered Skeleton Gripping Senate Desk Expected To Seek 15th Term

Cobweb-Covered Skeleton Gripping Senate Desk Expected To Seek 15th Term

21.05.2025 16:30 👍 32346 🔁 6079 💬 511 📌 370

Tariffs were NEVER going to “bring manufacturing back to the US.” There are many reasons, including:

•Even with tariffs, US labor is prohibitively expensive
•America’s supply chain isn’t ready
•Most Americans don’t want to do manufacturing jobs
•Not enough unemployed workers to fill new factories

21.05.2025 13:52 👍 10280 🔁 2734 💬 703 📌 145

I haven’t set foot in one since November.

21.05.2025 13:47 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I am trying!

20.05.2025 14:40 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Welcome to Office Hours! Questions, answer, and photosynthetic chaos

I'm out of writing practice, and thought finally starting a Substack would be a good way to get back into working out those muscles again. You'll get a deeper look inside my brain (I'm so sorry) and more detailed answers to your plant and academic questions! Welcome to Office Hours!

bit.ly/3ZnvYL2

20.05.2025 12:03 👍 19 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0

Just a few weeks ago people were pitching Cory Booker as a front runner for the 2028 Dem presidential nomination.

Tonight he was the only Senate Dem to vote to confirm Jared Kushner’s convict dad as ambassador to France.

Sheesh.

20.05.2025 00:08 👍 21667 🔁 4626 💬 2608 📌 933
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We Are The Resistance To
Chump's Regime.....

18.05.2025 10:39 👍 495 🔁 155 💬 32 📌 12
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Leo XIV

18.05.2025 00:05 👍 1157 🔁 324 💬 30 📌 11
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BREAKING: Over 100,000 Protest in The Hague for Gaza. This is one of the largest protests in The Hague in 60 years.

18.05.2025 18:44 👍 6013 🔁 2053 💬 139 📌 122
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18.05.2025 20:24 👍 20341 🔁 7131 💬 361 📌 230
A picture of a little sidewalk display sign outside of a business that says "Customers wanted. No experience required. Apply within."

A picture of a little sidewalk display sign outside of a business that says "Customers wanted. No experience required. Apply within."

Promo image that has a vibrant blue and purple swirly background with the text "Discount code: MaySpoons 22% off at checkout!!"

Promo image that has a vibrant blue and purple swirly background with the text "Discount code: MaySpoons 22% off at checkout!!"

A few of my handmade bracelets laid across old barn wood, these feature Druzy Agate and Cherry Quartz, with a gold tone stamped heart button.

A few of my handmade bracelets laid across old barn wood, these feature Druzy Agate and Cherry Quartz, with a gold tone stamped heart button.

A couple of my handmade wrap bracelets, this style is titled "Pinky Promise" and uses Rose Quartz and Strawberry Quartz, with a gold tone stamped heart button.

A couple of my handmade wrap bracelets, this style is titled "Pinky Promise" and uses Rose Quartz and Strawberry Quartz, with a gold tone stamped heart button.

👋Ive been working really hard to expand my audience and customer base. My genuine gemstone bracelets are fun AND gorgeous!
Ive activated the discount code 'MaySpoons' because life is unknown- Im just over here *trying*

Customers wanted, no experience required! Apply within😘
happytipipeople.etsy.com

04.05.2025 02:27 👍 11 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0