Shimbobulus

thx bestie

i certainly am, but this is like a chain grocery store so thats random i feel

i think i just randomly send one day and say fuck it 😰

how would i even do it yo:

“hey this is totally random but uhhhh i think youre cute are you single”

while some boomer behind me needs their meds like o_o

okay so like….storytime.

there’s this super cute pharmacist at my local grocery store and i get too nervous to approach :(

hes also taller than me so L + not my thing but like idk chat

bro wasnt in today but everytime i wanna talk i feel like a predator >:/

just kidding everyone. this posts (and all my posts) are satirical in nature if not outright jokes. there is no Kroger around me for a 200 mile radius. just some humor on this beautiful sunny afternoon. sorry for wasting everyone’s time.

Fucked Up At Kroger #FuckedUpAtKroger

im reporting you……

the hifhest levels of intelligence thought they carried out the mission correctly but operation find evan a boyfriend is still tragically back on the docket

drew stop liking my posts we both know one (1) like equals minus one thousand reddit karma

noticing a trend #nooticing

shoutout other gender identities fr

shoutout nonbinary people fr

shoutout men fr

shoutout women fr

(reverse psychology voice)

oh nooo i cant possibly have a boyfriend now im much too busy for thisssss

(context: been talking to this guy for a few weeks and its going well)(unless maybe it isn’t i can’t tell!)

saw this dope ass sticker on the side of a gas pump

and shorty still unemployed smfh

the job is: “My Husband”

he say “mrow :3” in my dms i respond with a job application

not now kitten daddy’s farming eCrops in the metaverse to pay for our server farm >:(

a foidian slip

Legendary artist Brian Eno once said about the Velvet Underground something along the lines of “y’know, they only sold 30,000 albums; but, every one who bought a record started a rock band”

I try to do that with my posting 🩷

many wonder where i get my posting abilities from. well it’s simple:

i have the gen alpha cough (allergies)(hyper specific allergy igg3-4 inflammation combo that will only be understood 50 years from now)

doing sub-reactions on discord (thumbs upping your thumbs up) and recreating TCP

doing land recognitions in the metaverse

gonna need this snow day to hit like a truck!!

starting 2 journal about not having a bf like a pirate lost at sea in pirate speak

yarrggghhh!

*pops voice*

oh good yaoi! jolly good yaoi!

good evening once again tummy hurting community