🪄🛸 Showbiz Sid Oozeley 🪄🛸

wonder if anyone made a game you can play with your baseball cards

and then we get mad when women say that its zesty for a man to eat pudding

i did see mudfish goody proctor evolving to walk on dry land with the mudfish devil

that depends on whether their role in society is (capitalism elemental) or (racecar)

yeah there's some shitters going around, me and my pal malcolm got got by one of them last year

"The manager served as a reminder that there could be more to life than being a ham-faced suburban tubbo with terrible taste, lead poisoning, and constantly simmering road rage, and we really don't want our customers to think that"

chains don't have personal values or lifestyles just fyi. good luck with the labor lawsuits kiddos

Huh!

Republican official ensnared in massive COVID fraud scandal A federal grand jury has indicted the chairman of the Nye County, Nevada, Republican Party for allegedly defrauding the government of roughly $500,000 in COVID-19 relief funds, according to a new repo...

“Nye County Republican Party chairman Leo Blundo is facing charges of wire fraud and money laundering”

I guess he made one of the

Classic blundos

for me it really depends on if the dragons are framed as dragon (capitalism elemental) or dragon (racecar)

I don’t know who needs to hear this but there is literally no reason to expect an athlete to stop playing in order to protect a 20 year old record that’s not only held by a dead rapist, but isn’t even the top score.

NDP MP Lori Idlout crossing floor to Liberals, PM Carney two seats shy of majority Nunavut NDP MP Lori Idlout has crossed the floor to join the Liberals, according to NDP interim leader Don Davies.

Floorcrossers should have to sit as independents until the next election. Voters in these ridings didn't vote for Liberals.

But the one thing most Canadian MPs seem to agree on is that they don't owe their voters shit.

No.

She can go run against a Republican if she wants to prove herself.

But this? No way.

I hope Susan Collins cropdusted that elevator

gimmie the deathpiss

is he the race science noah or the pedophile rights noah, i always get those two mixed up

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a giant squid wearing a yellow Bart t-shirt and some terrible hypebeast shorts is looking in the mirror. It says, “need groceries… but all my clothes are in the laundry.” Panel 2: the squid, now also wearing hot pink crocs, exits its apartment and says, “eh. I won’t see anyone.” Panel 3: two fisherman are pulling the squid to the surface of the water and pointing at it. An overlayed news caption reads: RARE SQUID SIGHTED - the fit was crazy

“epstein class is iranian propaganda” is definitely something i’d expect the epstein class to say

The voice that won over Ira Glass hasn't changed much since 1992. It's more subdued than it was in riotously funny essays like "Me Talk Pretty One Day," but the wry wisecracking, the deliberate bitchiness — those qualities are still in evidence. Still, in "Cash and Carry," when Sedaris critiques the phrasing on a homeless man's cardboard sign ("It should be 'Help one of the homeless,' I wanted to tell him. Otherwise it sounds like you’re going to take whatever you collect and distribute it to other people in need."), I sympathize with the guy's response that he hopes Sedaris burns in hell. His essays often derive their humor from catty, judgmental moments like that one, and so it's notable that this is the first time I can remember reading one and being firmly on the other person's side. The tone may not have changed, but Sedaris's positioning inarguably has. The very bitchiness which once made his voice feel so fresh has become a commonplace in humor writing; writers from Tina Fey to Samantha Irby have surpassed him in their own fluent versions of it. Watching him uphold it now with such determination feels like watching your dad try to squeeze into the leisure suit he last wore in 1971. Sedaris spent so many years assuring us he was an incurious curmudgeon that he seems to have talked himself into becoming one, at least on the page.

i wrote about why david sedaris’s writing leaves me cold now
www.patreon.com/posts/152798...

A brown tabby cat, two black and white cats, sitting together and looking at the camera

Big. Medium. Strongest :3

434. Necromancer’s Apprentice, Frostgrave, North Star Military Figures.

434. Necromancer’s Apprentice, Frostgrave, North Star Military Figures.

I gotta say this war has led me to believe that 95% of military spending in the US just goes to defense contractor shareholders and nothing else. Like what do you mean the US just decommissioned its only mine defusing boats in the gulf and there’s no replacements?

because they're the villains of real life

antivax people are chaos cultists who meatride the plaguefather

nothin better than standing regular-style in my favorite restaurant. i love to cross that threshold and plant my feet in a loose but vigilant straddle, like anyone would

there's a lot of ways surgery can go wrong

The green demon saying annihilate ice

Tfw all the bot accounts follow you but they all say abolish ice

It’s a golden age of Op Eds you can screenshot and say “this you?” for the next few decades

i watched jim jarmusch's dead man yesteday, that one was pretty tight

real cool neil young score

Company Lacks Manpower To Complete Newest Round Of Layoffs

Company Lacks Manpower To Complete Newest Round Of Layoffs https://theonion.com/company-lacks-manpower-to-complete-newest-round-of-layo-1819574660/