All Killer No Phil-ler

How about "Spurs play tomorrow"?

Van de Ven I think

Is he Dyche's Vince Rugari?

You could have given me 100 guesses on what film you'd reference in this and I'd have never guessed The Mummy

Close-up photo of the legs and feet of JD Vance and Marco Rubio showing some comically oversized shoes

It gets better. Here's Vance and Rubio in the Oval Office...

Marco Rubio greets Chuck Schumer in January 2026 at the Capitol Visitor Center

A close-up of his foot shows his shoes are too big

hmm

I am quite confidently saying that we won't win a single match for the rest of the season.

🧵 In the 18 months leading up to the Champions League final, if someone suggested that, in not backing Pochettino with the squad overhaul he wanted, the club was setting itself up on a journey towards a relegation battle within 10 years, 99.9% of fans would describe that outlook as ridiculous.

EXC: Nigel Farage defends Reform-run Kent County Council increasing council tax by 3.99% despite election leaflets last year pledging to “reduce waste and cut your taxes”.

Mr Farage told ITV News Meridian: “Cutting taxes can be not putting them up as much, I suppose.”

Yikes

Well aware that this is me cutting my nose off to spite my face, but right now I'm in the "if you don't want to be here, there's the door" territory with this team, regardless of talent levels. It's going to be a difficult season and the last thing we need is players sulking around the place

Would pretty humiliating for us to sell him to Bayern and for them to then loan him to us for the season 😂

Vuskovic goes regardless I think. Having a player that goes on to become the world's best CB but we never get to see him in a competitive game is one of those cruel ironies that are often inflicted on us

Watched Sicario tonight for the first time. I loved it. Wife didn't think much of it.

Happy birthday to the dearly missed #RikMayall
There's a little 'blink & you'll miss it' cameo in the latest VIZ out now.

5. One step closer to them playing Gillingham away on a weekend so that I can nip round the corner to watch them and then be home by 515

They're not fit to wear the shirt. Not a single one of them understands the existential crisis we're in. Fuck the lot of them. The single most unlikeable Tottenham team in a generation

And then the board can do the honorable thing and fucking resign too. Cunts to a man.

Just relegate us now. At least these cunts will get their salaries cut. Wankers.

Van de Ven can get the fuck out of my football club.

Spurs play today

Despite the result, that was a lovely afternoon following the cricket. Jacob Bethell is a special lad.

Now all attention on Spurs. Please don't let me down.

If we don't win tonight I think that we're all entitled to be very angry tbh

My daughter is 3 so next year will be when the pressure really hits us. It's a day to celebrate reading, not how creative your parents are ffs

Tottenham Hotspur (2026)

There's a timeline where we get relegated, hire Poch, bring Dele back as a player and then him having a 30 goal season in our promotion charge

Not that I'd trust Lange to run the local Sue Ryder tbh

The only person who should be working alongside Lange is Brenda at the local charity shop BECAUSE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A JOB AT THIS CLUB ANYMORE

Even Wolves have worked out how to win games. Take note, Tottenham.

Little bit of personal news: Freelance opportunities with Goal are sadly coming to an end for me, so I am very much available for work! Over a decade of experience in journalism, both managing teams and working within them. Any shares appreciated. Ty x