Bathrobe Gal

Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words! 🥰

I wrote an essay folks. It was so hard to write this, but I hope it helps others. #autistic 💖❤️

Thanks ❤️

Hi pals. I've realized I can't handle being on multiple platforms, so I'll only be posting on my Instagram and website from now on. I wish I were able to handle more because I love connecting when I'm able, but I have to work with brain. I'll see you around ❤️

Aw, thank you so much for this shoutout! I love @thedailytism.com 💖 That would be dreamy. Love to you ❤️

Graphic: Mom and Bathrobe Gal sit in a booth eating a ginormous slice of pink cake. Bathrobe Gal’s eyes shimmer with cake love. Mom says, “That was exhausting. We earned this.”

Graphic: Mom says, “If we succeed we will reward ourselves with pretty dresses and cake. And if we can’t find any pretty dresses, just cake.” Bathrobe Gal says, “and if we fail completely, still cake!”

Graphic: Bathrobe Gal, sword raised, says: “We will brave: - Crowds - Loud store music - Overwhelming, disorganized displays - Intense perfumes - People who don’t say what they mean, or talk to us for any reason really, who don’t respect efficiency, & (horrors) walk too slow - Clothes with bad textures and fits and sizes that make no sense - And more”

Comic Titled: “Mom & Me Preparing for Back-to-School Shopping” Graphic: Mom holds up two metal shields; handing one to bathrobe gal, she says, “Arm yourself, Bathrobe Gal! We’re going to the mall!”Graphic: Bathrobe Gal, raising a sword, replies, “Okay!”

Stores are hell, but I love pretty dresses. And cake. Mom was always my protector/ally/warrior:

#autistic

Sweet Husband holds up the tattered dress, having retrieved it from Bathrobe Gal's closet. He says, “I thought you got rid of this.” Looking sly, Bathrobe Gal says, “Shhh… She’s a ghost now….She doesn’t take up that much space.”

Bathrobe Gal reaches an out to Sweet Husband for help. To the dress, she whispers “I put you to rest.” To Sweet Husband, she says, “Please do it for me. It’s too painful.” Sweet Husband says, “Okay.”

Bathrobe Gal clutches the dress closer, crying. The dress is stained and tattered. She says, “We should never have had to part like this… But alas you are full of holes. And stained. And actually falling apart.”

Graphic Titled “When My Clothes Wear Out”: Bathrobe Gal kneels surrounded by candles and clutches a pink dress, saying “Dearly Beloved, for these past 10 years you have been my loyal companion, protected me against the elements…and other humans, comforted me, held me, been…a…true..friend…”

Are your clothes also special? Is it hard for you to find textures, colors, or a fit that is comfortable for you?

It can be so frustrating to shut down, but then, my body and my unconscious know things I don’t about my needs. ❤️

Our world vastly undervalues quiet. My need for quiet and periods of non-doing has always existed, since I was little; back then, I knew this need innately and understood its value innately. But the human world bombards us with constant noise, information, and activity...

When things get to be too much, which is often, I need quiet. Sometimes for a shorter while. Other times, for a very long while, until the too-muchness of the world that has gotten inside of me calms.

When I shut down, when I go wordless, when I have to go hide for a while, it's okay. That's me healing.

My need for quiet:

#autistic

Graphic: Bathrobe Gal frowns holding a pan of burned food, “saying Oh no! I wrecked dinner! It's completely burned." Sweet Guy tries to comfort her: "Oh, sweetheart, it's okay."

Graphic: Bathrobe Gal is weeping, saying, “Actually, the dinner is inedible. I wasted all that food. Now we don’t have anything to eat. I don’t see how it can be okay.”

Graphic: Bathrobe Gal is weeping, saying, “Actually, the dinner is inedible. I wasted all that food. Now we don’t have anything to eat. I don’t see how it can be okay.”

When something bad happens and someone says, "It's okay." / When someone says it's okay and it's NOT okay.

That's just confusing! Instead, ppl please try saying what you actually mean :)

#autistic

❤️ Big bag crew! I like it :)

Aww, thanks friend! ❤️ I'd take the wings hehe

“Many years later, I still sometimes wonder what I look like.” Graphic: Bathrobe Gal comes across an actual pigeon and says hi.

7/7

“After, I tried to avoid bobbing my head but continued to carry all my books and wear high heels throughout high school…” Graphic: Bathrobe Gal is relieved to at home, taking off her heels and putting on her bathrobe.

6/7

I was confused. She was smiling so big! Smiling meant nice and happy. Was she being nice? Did she want me to laugh too? I knew people talking about me behind my back was considered a bad thing. But she was telling me to my face. It-Girls did not speak to me. Was she trying to help me? So I would realize I looked ridiculous & could stop? I figured a bully would want me to keep being a pigeon forever... My thoughts collided, resulting in a blank stare. It-Girl walked off, still laughing.

5/7

“She then stuck out her head to demonstrate an exaggerated, ridiculous bobbing motion as she hauled herself forward. It was clear this had been performed many times.” Graphic: It Girl demonstrates being a pigeon.

4/7

Graphic: It Girl stands laughing at Bathrobe Gal. It Gal says, “Ahahahaha, we were laughing so much, you look like a pigeon! Your head bobs when you try to pull yourself forward, your bag is so heavy! And you take tiny steps on stilt feet! It's so funny, ahahahaha!

3/7

“I was also performing my idea of the Perfect Woman based on 2000's magazines. Apparently, this made me look kind of funny…” Graphic: Bathrobe Gal wears high heels and her huge backpack. A group of girls laughs and points at her.

2/7

“In high school, I felt the need to carry all of my text books with me all day. I think it gave me a sense of security.” Graphic: Bathrobe Gal is weighted down by her huge backpack.

I’ve missed a lot of social cues along the way. This is one of those moments you look back on with understanding 1/7
#autistic

Reasons IT CAN Be Hard to talk about MY Pain & Difficulties -I learned to hide my perceived weaknesses to stay safe & get by in an often hostile society -I fear I’ll hurt people I love by burdening them - Fear that the pain/struggle will become overbearing & I won’t be able to manage anymore if I acknowledge it fully -Fear that other people will devalue my existence as lesser -Fear of being misunderstood -I feel the need to be a light

REALITIES OF TALKING ABOUT MY PAIN & DIFFICULTIES - I can help others - It can allow me to connect more deeply with others, deepening relationships - It can help me feel less alone, even if it can also sometimes feel paradoxically lonely to share - There are times I am misunderstood or rejected - I can focus on the people who do try to understand and make space for me. Those are my people. - I don’t have to share everything to be honest or feel seen. I don’t have to articulate everything perfectly. - It’s often worth it to take the risk when I’m safe and able to

💖❤️❤️ It used to be so hard for me to talk about things. It still can be. Thank you for making space for me and for sharing yourselves with me. Love.

#autistic

I hear you! I keep reusable bags in the car but then I tell myself I'm only getting one thing haha :)

Aw, yay, solidarity for bag-less (& unexpected) shopping!! 💖 🥰