💢Coopermeansbarrelmaker, No Longer Mr. Wines #1 Hater

I need to find a clip of flay going “you haaate meee” please how is it this hard to find one of this it’s like his signature thing what the fuck

Watching the holoday monster of the week session and Holy shit ERB is really good at this

A baby sitting in a catapult in a suburban backyard. The baby seems surprised to be there. The text reads: Is this a safe sleep environment for your baby? No! This is a catapult! Put your baby to sleep flat on their back in a crib, bassinet, play yard, bedside sleeper or other product designed for safe sleep. If your baby falls asleep in a car seat or other product not designed for sleep, move them to a safe sleep space.

It's Baby Safety Month.

Oh wow it’s time for fruits of the see already? Time flies huh

God I love the Submerged Rector. Nobody else could single-handedly defeat a saint of hell through the power of severe hearing damage and raw whimsy

Undertale

Fucking insane to me that in the year 2025, we have an animated pilot for homestuck in the near future. Wild.

Very much a fan of all the AotRS gear, I liked the lore drops about the revolution and the ‘68 campaign, very very funny that they distributed the Benthic Kriegspiel on the day we marched on Hell. Uhhh all in all, real fun time, but good lord was it confusing. Can’t wait to see what comes next year

Finished Hell Is Missing a few days ago and I gotta say it was a great Estival. Felt a little bit less like you were actually working together with other londoners towards a goal and moreso like you were working alongside the efforts of a thousand alternate realities which I suppose was fitting.

Been thinking on something and came to a realization. I can hire a crew of rogue temporal outlaws. I can get myself a Felt of my very own! gonna dress em all in Viric suits and a Pelgin dress, get up to some proper organized crime see if I can’t use my powers as Mr Cards to set up a gambling racket

This may be the most Meta I’ve ever seen Fallen London get. Sure I’ve tried to stumble through the remains of Ambition: Enigma but this is a whole other level and I love it

So with the other Masters currently… indisposed… I can’t help but wonder how difficult it would be to claim the bazaar for myself, become “Mr. Cards, The Wildcard King of London”. I probably wouldn’t though, I’ve grown quite fond of Pages while on the path that lead me here

I mean I can’t just NOT eat the physical manifestation of time itself…

WHAT IN THE NINE -NINE -NINE -NINE -NINE -NINE -NINE -NINE [hell not found]S IS HAPPENINGINGINGING

What do you MEAN hell is missing??? How do you lose something that big??? I’m not done building my railway there yet I can’t afford to rebuild in a different direction.

- 1 jumper at a time
- No somersaults

Yeah. This is how you do it.

Back on my fallen London bs, today’s agenda is barging into courtrooms asking to be the defense in a case I have no knowledge of or connection to and just completely botching it at the last second. As a Master of the Bazaar I can absolutely be trusted, now give me the case files.

I should’ve known that dinner with the Captivating Princess wouldn’t end well. But I will rescue the prince so help me god. I am a Correspondent, I am a Master of the Bazaar, I have liberated the tributes of the Sixth Coil, and I have plotted within the mirrors of Risen Burgundy. I shall prevail.

With the release of Reunion I’ve decided to come back to fallen London, and it’s a fun mental image of leading the prince around, showing him the best my city has to offer as he’s none the wiser that I am not just some moderately notable schmuck and am instead one of the Masters of the Bazaar

It has come to my attention that Warframe is essentially Smith Shimano Corpro Atlas simulator.

-which is funny because cats have 9 lives and 7 is fallen londons Funny Number™️

So my fallen London cards came in the mail a few days ago and a few of the cards were stuck together because of the shiny edges they have, which wouldn’t be of note except for the fact that the cards that were hidden by being stuck were the 7 of hats, the 7 of bats, the 7 of cats, and the 9 of cats-

HOLY SHIT BETTEL 2 LIVE 2D. HES SO CUTE

Happy birthday to Gubgub Borple

Mr Fires is a bitchass motherfucker and while I respect it as one of the powers that be, and I respect its desire to keep London around, that doesn’t mean I gotta like the bastard

[ #holoTEMPUS / #Bettelful ] I'M NOT SICK BUT I'M NOT WELL

Hrm. Its been a while since I thought about those days. Good times. Simpler times. Fun story, I made my account in 2021 and then didnt do the tutorial and forgot about falllen london, so my first sentence in new newgate was canonically three real life years lol.

a centaur from fallout 3/nv with the head of a bighorn from fallout nv in a jungle in a mirror

So yeah if you really think about it, the Vagrant Oneirotaur from this years Whitsun is just this adorable lil guy

(censored for the body horror that is the fallout 3/nv centaur, its not that bad but I figured better safe than sorry )

"As a final flourish, and in a rare display of whimsy, Mr Pages sweeps its arms wide as it turns to leave, depositing a series of duck's eggs in everybody's drinks, to general consternation."

Mr. Pages my beloved. This is why Pages is the best, who else would scatter duck eggs into drinks at a parlour.