Sir Michael

I know. It's great news. I expect this will lead to a massive increase of OCB awards for all the many deserving entrants!

Yes but the owner of it moved away to a different village so she can't be questioned about it.

Omg, can't believe people can be so gullible! He's going to be furious when he realises his mistake!

I just submitted this to the OCB-AI bot for what I thought would be instant approval but it's just replied, "References to Michael's Unfortunate Mishaps must not be rewarded with OCBs." I'd forgotten I told my engineers to add that code, along with any criticisms of me outside The Criticism Window

Looks like we have very different visions of the future. I placed another €100 on the US being subsumed by Greenland before the turn of the century. I love underdog stories.

No problem at all. These local youths are learning a valuable lesson with every bet placed.

WARNING! Saw some local youths in the park operating as blackmarket bookmakers to scam gullible passers-by so I decided to teach them a lesson. They're offering 5,000-1 on Brazil to win the 2174 World Cup. That's way overpriced so I placed €100 on it. They're going to feel like fools in 148 years!

It's been a tough season for me and the other Nitrogen fans with many of us having lost faith in the manager. It might take the hiring of Nitrogen's manager in the summer to improve things.

Yes. It's 1.

I respect this system a lot 🫡

Good news, Pam. They're all equal to 1. You win both on both counts 🙌

Mrs Thompson didn't hire me for my maths skills. She hired me as eye candy for the customers and also because my dad asked her to.

For sure. Both are equal to one metre.

Now that you mention it, I believe it does. I'll add that to my chart.

I agree. I've always felt that way about tonne too. Sounds much heavier than ton so the conversion is 1 (heavy) tonne = 1 (light ton).

If the OCB-AI was working, this would be a shoo-in. If I had to guess, I'd expect 1 historical minute to be equal to 1 AMPLOminute, which is equal to 1 gallon.

Oops. Sorry, I forgot about that. Michael's Universal Constant = 1

I can print it and send it to you if you'd like?

Easy-to-Remember Conversion Chart Gallons to Litres 1 Gallon = 1 Litre Pounds to Kilos 1 Pound = 1 Kilo Fahrenheit to Celcius 1°F = 1°C Inches to Centimetres 1 Inch = 1 Centimetre Feet to Metres 1 Foot = 1 Metre Miles to Kilometres 1 Mile = 1 Kilometre

Here's a universal conversion chart that's very easy to remember. Hopefully it proves useful

You're welcome! Another possible connection is the first word of great games so if you see the word "Gatekeeper" you'll know you're on to something 🙌

You have to give some credit to Nitrogen. I haven't seen them be this clinical since their victory over Nitrogen.

You must be hoping for a Nitrogen win in the 3pm fixtures to boost your beloved Nitrogen's chances of finishing above Nitrogen

Exactly. If they could just fund me for the next fifteen years or so, I would finally be able to give the EFL fans the comprehensive data they deserve. Yet again, the Premier League gets all the resources :(

And to think, I'm not even out of concussion protocol from this morning's Karate Club yet. Crazy to think how good at science I'll be once I'm thinking clearly.

I'm all for new tactical advancements but sometimes coaches just need to accept that the old methods work best. That why if I ever become a Premier League manager, my first announcement to the team will be to tell them we're sticking with an atmosphere consisting predominantly of nitrogen

This sounds like a very helpful suggestion, imo

Nitrogen vs Nitrogen (12:30pm KO) Nitrogen vs Nitrogen (3pm KO) Nitrogen vs Nitrogen (3pm KO) Nitrogen vs Nitrogen (3pm KO) Nitrogen vs Nitrogen (5:30pm KO)

Here's what today's Premier League fixtures would look like if every team was named after the most common atmospheric gas in their town/city

I can only imagine the high-tech wheelbarrows being used at that level. Some people in the 'barrow community speculate that you don't even need to push them #magical

Good idea. This would tell us a lot. One has to imagine, for example, that views of the most popular dinosaur-hosted channels declined significantly around 65 million years ago.

Me?? That's a very upsetting allegation, Pam. I am as consistent as the day is long. All of my trillions of ex-girlfriends in the village that's been tragically cut off from the rest of society for several years will confirm this.