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Brendan Parry Kaufmann

@bpkaufmann

Audible Shape. Semi-Ambulatory Cheese Disposal System. Actor/Writer/Director/Producer/Cat-Wrangler. No DMs unless I know you IRL. FFS. πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬πŸ‡±πŸ‡©πŸ‡°πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ–€πŸ’›β€οΈ

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Latest posts by Brendan Parry Kaufmann @bpkaufmann

The word "fragged" has a certain magic.

13.03.2026 12:49 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Jesse, Stephen - you want to learn about "asymmetric" warfare?

I hate to break this to you, boys - but the IRGC knows where you live.

13.03.2026 01:14 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Psychotic twerp.

13.03.2026 01:06 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Do not travel to, or through, the United States - for any reason.

And especially not this.

12.03.2026 23:35 πŸ‘ 16 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah - because what the centre of Christendom on Earth really needs is for this batshit insane, pasty-faced, endlessly greedy ghoul to lecture them on Satan, his minions, and his dark designs.

They should go all Savanarola on his ass, in the middle of St.Peter's Square.

12.03.2026 23:28 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
a group of men are dancing in a large room with purple lights Alt: Logistical solutions, for the modern era.

Through the medium...of DANCE

12.03.2026 09:28 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's worth noting that Malcolm Roberts is a man so catastrophically stupid, he has to shit on all fours.

12.03.2026 01:00 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I will *NOT* be muting this, because in a world currently full of sorrow and madness, this is just lovely. πŸ™‚

11.03.2026 23:08 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Good morning.

The black one.

WANT.

11.03.2026 23:04 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Good. Do it again.

Maybe he'll have massive fury-induced shartsplosion that will see him stroke out, live on camera.

There's a scoop for you.

11.03.2026 23:03 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

All that money, and he can't find a real friend to tell him to stop being such an utter twat.

11.03.2026 23:00 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Felt it in Melba, suburb of Northern Canberra.

11.03.2026 08:45 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

They need to start hearing it - often, and from as many quarters as possible. No effort is in vain, mate.

11.03.2026 01:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Bass Strait...mate. πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί

11.03.2026 00:08 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Why the US military hasn't mutinied yet, and hung this incompetent, corrupt, disrespectful and diseased sack of shit upside-down from a lamp-post - along with his cabinet, his cronies and his entire feckless family - remains an enduring mystery.

08.03.2026 23:26 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

{...fade up spooky bass guitar line...}

I give you:

"Bela Lugosi's Dog"

...by Bow Wow Haus.

....

....

....I'll see myself out.

08.03.2026 23:22 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

He's such an irredeemably, relentlessly, foul sack of shit.

08.03.2026 06:57 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah. I was so surprised, my monocle popped out and my top hat flew off, like an old-timey cartoon swell.

08.03.2026 01:45 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Take your idiotic baseball cap off, you disrespectful fat rapist cunt.

08.03.2026 00:09 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Bastards.

I've never wanted to see Air Force One shot out of the sky more.

07.03.2026 23:47 πŸ‘ 25 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yes, I *know* the quote is actually from Henry IV Pt.2.

Eat me.

07.03.2026 23:21 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hal: "I know thee not, Old Man."

Falstaff: "FUCK YOU KID, I HAVE A GIANT SAUSAGE AND A PINT MUG I STOLE FROM THE SLUG AND LETTUCE"

07.03.2026 23:19 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I'll give him a pass on not learning a new language, if the necrotic old rapist fool is sincere in his promise to be hellbound soon.

07.03.2026 22:18 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You know, I was wrong about this guy. I just thought he was a mouthy, incompetent sex-pest drunk.

Now I see that he's actually certifiable.

07.03.2026 06:09 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

AND. THIS. IS. WHY. WE. STUDY. HISTORY.

FUCK'S. SAKE.

06.03.2026 22:21 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

..."with passion"??

Christ, he's a loon.

06.03.2026 21:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I loved your scholarly explanation for their colouring, because I'd just be pointing at the thing shrieking "IT HAS COME, AS FORETOLD IN THE PROPHECY"

06.03.2026 21:35 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Markwayne Mullin - a man so stupid, he has to shit on all fours.

06.03.2026 02:12 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Reported. What a fucking jackass.

06.03.2026 00:54 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Big fan of both.

04.03.2026 22:38 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0