Rebecca (Rebexagliflozin)🌤️

They’re dropping new albums?

In the same conversation he explained how he replaced his cordless vacuum battery with a higher powered model and I should too.

Medicine with an expiration of August 2022

Medicine with an expiration of April 2024

Medicine with an expiration of October 2024

Medicine with an expiration of June 2025

Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys

It was in the 70s on Monday 😫

You’re telling me.

Text message conversation: Person 1 (me): Careful with the sinus flush thing you have to use sterilized water or you'll get a brain amoeba Person 2 (stepdad): That Sinusense nose flusher I found up in the linen cupboard. I put new batteries in it, but it wasn't working so I ordered one; a good one a double barreled Neti pot thingy, 104 bucks. Then I was hurting so bad I decided to take the water pic sinusense thing apart to see if I could get it going. I did, so I've been using that with a little bit of hydrogen peroxide in the water. The first time it felt like the inside of my head was on fire, boy that was tough. Person 1 (me): Omg do not do that hydrogen peroxide is really irritating to tissues and inflaming it will only make you snottier

My stepfather has some kind of cold/URI situation and rustled up a sinus rinse device. We’re going to lose so much creativity when this generation of Old Guys is gone. (Autocorrect fails and run on sentences are edited in the alt text)

Ew, but if that’s what you’re into, go for it

I really hoped we’d get a gentler transition back into March but no such luck

homer simpson and marge simpson are standing in front of a calendar that says march on it Alt: Homer and Marge Simpson walk past a calendar that says “Smarch;” Homer brushes snow off himself and grumbles “lousy Smarch weather”

It’s snowing, which is objectively bullshit

I looked up a random pair of unisex-sized shoes to get that ratio but maybe Adidas isn’t the standard setter 🤣

I am attempting to crochet a sweater and I cannot figure out where my stitches are going…

Who at that level is small enough to be a size 7 shoe? That corresponds to a woman’s 8 and I know men the same height/weight as I am have feet bigger than mine

We used to basically create a hard mode (bare minimum supplies, leave as late as possible) and see who could get the farthest without everybody dying

I got two B’s my first semester of college and I’ll own them! (Biology and calculus. Hit a math wall for sure)

And graduate with honors if you greased the palms of a few nerds

I’m all in on the Italian World Baseball Classic team. Espresso for everybody!

How the fuck would he watch himself debate when they air those live?!

I’ve stopped streaming music entirely so now I’m entirely at the mercy of the earworms my brain dishes out…

A tweet of mine from May 9, 2017: This is going to be the dumbest dystopia.

[taps sign]

The boys could help you disguise it by sprawling out on it. Put the coffee table on it and hubs will never know

Anybody else just want to take a nap today?

Mine were highlighter yellow

a man in a military uniform salutes with the words well done captain obvious Alt: A bearded man in a red satin mock-military jacket with black lapels, gold epaulets, and a captain’s hat salutes the camera. The caption reads “well done, captain obvious.”

Yesterday’s doctor’s appointment revealed I have a low vitamin D level.

In March, in New York, as a translucently white person who uses SPF 50+ sunscreen.

I feel for the parents of young kids dealing with this blizzard of bullshit

Ordering a replacement posthaste

He’s a smart boy

The line at the boba shop was too long

Soy!

I should’ve walked up to Central Park to see if it’s also Sunbathing in Speedos weather…

It’s 72° in New York today and the streets are full of tank tops. Carpe fucking diem.