What do you people even want anymore?!
What do you people even want anymore?!
64 of Warcraft
She's back! And funnier than ever!
Horse Divorce
Thinking of getting into comics about horses
In order to adapt this riddle for modern audiences, the doctor will now shout "I can't operate on this boy! He's my biological son and I'm straight!"
Proof of Orchestra/Birds
Come hang out under a bridge! The Worst Orchestra in Omaha is here! Plus there are birds
And also a robot
Not without congressional approval you better not
Let me introduce you to beets
Today I'm not handling the state of geopolitics well
Aww go on
WOW has it been a long day
(Me every other solstice)
Some people have a memory palace. I have a lie world.
Found on a trailhead sign
"Further, nudity is commonplace in the hot springs, and not condoned by Olympic National Park"
To the lone protestor holding an "Ice Melts" sign on the street corner, I offer my honks.
I want to try out the Aqua Aerobics class, really I do, I just don't think I have the stamina for an hour of classic rock
Leave the air a Tip?
20% 30% 40%
Overheard at the gym
"Woah it's the six million dollar man! How old are you?
How old are you?
How old are you?
How old are you?"
"...22"
"Well then you don't even know who that is!"
My biggest fear is that someone I know and trust will turn out to be a human size marionette controlled by drones.
Overheard at the gym "Well don't take my word for it, I'm just talking out loud here"
A Reddit post from r/lgbt: Title, Why is "be gay, do crime" a thing? Body: Honestly I don't understand anything about this. Of all things why choose crime? That's like the one thing that is universally considered illegal. That's...
"the one thing universally considered to be illegal", fucking incredible
Overheard in the sauna:
"My pet peeve is people who celebrate their birthday after 21"
"Yeah, especially if it's, like, a guy"
Fellas-is it gay to have a birthday?
Eating homemade meatball subs while I drive to work in a celebration of nihilistic optimism
NO, I did not pee in the pool. I pissed myself, THEN I got in the pool
Add "You had a wet dream about Einstein?" alongside "You drank your grandsons pee?" and "A ghost choked you in Switzerland?" in the Nathan Fielder hall of fame
I mean, it's 250 pencils, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?
The true shame is that the original message "THIS IS A FRIDGE" is pretty dang funny
As my time with Pete the Cat: The Musical draws to a close, I can't help but reminisce on the wisdom I've gained.
He truly was a real cool cat.