Jimothy Clydesdale

“Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.. why, what did you hear? Did someone tell you something? Has my behavior changed in a noticeable way? Tell me now”

The red flags weren’t red enough

Taylor Swift is Prog*

*Has a song not only in an odd time signature but also changes time signature

I genuinely support this- that shit would look so good

Does it work?

[Joke about FTL being both faster-than-light and friends-to-lovers]

Just saw a video of a person doing a “when your song comes on at the gym vs. at the bar” and it was the same amount of energy
No fuckin’ hair flip, no fuckin’ humpin’ the air, didn’t even- my “oh I’m just doing a quick run through in a tight space” was more energetic than the bar energy- the fuck?

I just realized that I’m probably (definitely) going to pregame “Rocky Horror Picture Show” with a bunch of sailors

Geographically undesirable FWB

I’m reminded of something Juan Soto complained about, moving from the Yankees to the Mets; that teams used to not be able to pitch around him because Judge was up next

Anyways, I don’t have to worry about my friend (potentially) staying the night after a showing of “Rocky Horror Picture Show” anymore

There was a world in which it was to be renamed H-E-B park and that’s the world in which there is healing, if just a little bit

Every time I fold laundry, I realize that I need more consistent application of lotion in my daily life

The baseball player?

It was bad

Red flagging my way out of a socially questionable talking stage

At some point tonight I had the dryer running, the- oh shit I need to grab those clothes- a pot of water filling in the sink, and was talking on the phone and I wanted to die

Beauty is pain

(Wool pants that slay but are a sensory nightmare)

It would probably be more efficient to measure my time between haircuts in inches

I take good care of my hair though, so I don’t have split ends or anything

For the love of the game (and also attention is a hell of a drug)

Nah, I have my person I go to
She was the last person to cut my hair.. a year and a half ago.. if tha- oh I just simply don’t remember, oh no

Scheduling the appointment? Oh- the hair

I have faith

Flirting with a swimmer

Scheduling an appointment to chop all my hair off (get a trim)

Goddamn name drop- wow

I say this and everyone yells at me

They were yelling before but that’s not relevant

I’m pretty sure that’s what they do

“Huh, this song is unfamiliar, I wonder why it’s on my playlist- oh, it’s in three, I know exactly what happened”

Shipmate made a boat shirt about my girl’s history smuggling cigarettes in the Mediterranean and it fucks so hard

Me, every day