happiness for everybody, free, and let no one be left behind

i don't really want to come out to her primarily because it's embarrassing

why the fuck did my mom tell my sister "oh your [brother] took hormones when [he's] in college" offhandedly on the phone

i should be the one in prison instead of her

posting incest in the uk so I could be arrested

i'll kill myself if i don't get a job this year

I mean it's nice not to be a hyperparanoid cloistered neurotic I guess

I understand that it would make my life better if I would stop wallowing in my own misery, but I do not have it in me to forgive my parents yet

I don't know. I'm miserable I suppose.

I know it's to create a perspective that you are in charge of your future and child sexual abuse doesn't define what happened to you but I still prefer being called a victim over a survivor

forgot i have zero privacy here. in my house i mean but yea

tremendous

im probably a csa victim but i don't remember anything so that's ok.

i would like to volunteer at an orphanage instead

i mean. it's impossible for me to do so. and adoption has its own can of worms. i think i would be a bad parent because i would be lenient to my hypothetical kids

sometimes i think of having kids

I know someone whose boyfriend basically walks all over her and she still loves him. i think I'm still in the low percentile of irrationality

👋

i feel like everything is beating me down to a nub

hiii

i was going to sleep but a friend has been threatening suicide and her last posts are from two hours ago

I'll shut up once im medicated again I guess

self-degradation: i am lesser than other people

do you guys like me better when im pretentious compared to being stupid like now

i think i need to take my meds again

in 2023 I can read dozens of books

feel like im doing worse than 2023

sorry for repeatedly venting. i feel like throwing myself to traffic or jumping from the pedestrian crossing when i went out

i feel like people repeatedly dump or abandon me. maybe i deserve it, though

yeah it's my fault being irresponsible