jake

Clapping sarcastically when the plane lands

Furry dj named Augustus Glomp

When I meet a doctor the first thing I like to ask is have you ever lost a patient

logging into my bank website and smiling softly with a sense of nostalgia as i click "remember me"

this is what i look like

they should make airplane bottles for beer

Really miss the “*foghorn* this is your captain speaking” spam phone calls from like 2011

My latest creation I call it the bloody grinch

when you’re already on the worst trip you’ve ever been on and the cook eats up all your corn 🙄

Nobody else thinks the snl Martha Stewart topless Christmas special is funny

It’s hard to explain the impact of Rainbow sandals to ppl who didn’t grow up in NC

The pilslbury doughboys name is Poppin’ Fresh

(has never cared more) jimmy crack corn and I don’t care

have added around 300 words to my mute list and my tl is finally healing. and its mostly posts by a moon photo account called "moon lover"

I found it

Feels like the first day of freshman year on here. And I’m coming back from summer break with new big boobs

If they keep showing me shit like George takei on here I’m going back to twitter

hello lol