[indistinct chatter]

Years ago, I worked in a city building and would get last-minute calls about the mayor arriving via the shipping dock and could I please remove my pallets of unsightly (work-related) deliveries? I’ll let you guess which Chicago mayor was incapable of looking past the dock’s intended purpose…

I desperately need the backstory on this place. And if a new owner so much as displaces a throw pillow in an effort to dismantle that conversation pit, may they incur the wrath of 10,000 house ghosts

The light passive aggression of curling teams from Minnesota and Canada overusing the phrase “I don’t mind that” as they discuss potential shot options with a regional lilt is just 🤌😘

Immediate co-sign. Once went hiking, didn’t get enough water/sunscreen, and got a horrible migraine. I went to bed and a bunch of college students rolled into the campsite across from ours late and then performed a 90-minute version of Wagon Wheel. The memory still makes me nauseous

Released from jail late at night Over the last five years, the number of people released from the Cook County jail late at night has steadily increased.

Happens all the time at the local level! In most cases, you’re separated from your belongings, so you don’t have a cell phone, cash, or winter coat. Best of luck if you’re released at 2 am in an unfamiliar area and not allowed to go home because of a court order!

chicagoreader.com/news/reader-...

Wild that this is one of the saner stories coming out of MN rn. Everyone hanging on by the loosest of threads

Huzzah! What a great pick!

👋👋👋

They’re so great! Except for the part where they make you look like you have extremely shoddy calf implants

One of the delights of Wake Up Dead Man is that if you’re new to the concept of priests who help solve murders, there’s a whole genre waiting for you over on PBS/masterpiece. Settle in for some cozy mysteries!

UPDATED: Nisswa mayor's assault claim case reopens with additional witness Jennifer Carnahan said woman who sent her an email assaulted her at City of Lights; Sophie Foster denied assaulting Carnahan.

Any news that includes “Ye Old Pickle Factory” as a location where alleged events occurred = top tier banger of a story, 137,482% worth my time

www.brainerddispatch.com/news/local/n...

Lost an entire day of work because they kept stringing us along. My corner of Chicago is also a Verizon dead zone without a wi-fi booster, so I kept having to walk to the end of the block to coordinate rescheduling meetings. Brutal

Co-worker in city government once advised, “Never send an email that should be a phone call. Never make a phone call that should be a meeting.” Wild to see powerful ppl committing crimes with even less communication discipline than someone responsible for designing municipal park signage

If you need to fill a morning with a short road trip, I don’t think anything quite captures the midwestern obsession with mundane eccentricities like the largest ball of twine in Darwin

Bonus Wolf Lake content: There are swans! And, if you return via the Cargill/overpass route, a jaunty octopus mural!

A few years back, there was an installation in my local neighborhood park of giant clown eggs. If the point of art is to make you ~feel~ something I guess they were wildly successful because there are few pieces of art I more viscerally hated

A devastating blow dealt by the wine mom militia

With Wout’s actual factual wife lurking in the background, looking extremely unthreatened by the whole situation

can confirm it tastes like the kind of solvent you’d use to clean a lawnmower

Fishing line?

Very excited about this. As for the namesake, the night heron who hangs out in the Garden of the Phoenix, seemingly unbothered by humans, is an extremely charming lil fellow.

Phenomenal ride. Reapplied after finish before podium.

I’m just in the orchestra. Why should I care?

My partner once admitted, “I have a confession. It wasn’t a wild animal that got its paws in the peanut butter. It was a partially domesticated animal.”

Depending on the nature of the incident, we blame a series of intruders like ghosts (open cupboards) and raccoons (fork marks in the peanut butter).

An EXTREMELY SERIOUS accusation.

Went too far by making him… *checks notes* “question his chili.”

👨🏽‍🍳🤌🏽

Stares into the distance recollecting the engineered wood installed like tile using wood filler as grout in all our closets, crooked curtain rods hastily screwed into the casings on every drafty window, and the numerous unwanted species that had taken up residence in place of humans

This is a real smorgasbord board of options for a restaurant called “eat the rich”

Rise up, pedants with arcane “Robert’s Rules of Order” knowledge!