The Arcane Nibbler

(painfully dying of measles on the oregon trail) I hope measles never goes away. I hope it lasts forever

The fact that the Minions never alarm or raise questions from the humans they encounter implies there are non-minion members of their species that are ubiquitous and fully integrated into their world's general population.

A trail sign showing a man riding a motorcycle with a red slash across it, but the motorcycle helmet really unavoidably looks like a duck head

NO DUCKS RIDING MOTORCYCLES

35 Shots of Rum - Dance Scene.avi YouTube video by The Elusive Robert Denby

Celebrating International Women’s Day with this exquisite clip from Claire Denis’s 35 Shots of Rum. It’s in French with no subtitles, but they aren’t necessary. The faces tell you everything you need to know. Pure Cinema.

#internationalwomensday
#filmsky
#ClaireDenis

youtu.be/Z7j9iSbz0qc?...

Damned cars parked in the umbrella lane again!

Me, joining yet another social media app:
- Yes, hello. This is my 24th rodeo and I still don't know what's going on.

A yellow excavator next to a big pile of rubble in a street. There's only a small section that's not yet been demolished, and this includes a large Hardee's advertising sign with a smaller messageboard below it that reads: "CLOSED"

Oh, no! It's closed!

Take to the backroads and let them know you mean meandering

It's just a little town around you with the scientific definition of an aura, and if an actual ice cream parlor on a main street can't verify it then it's not inspiring your nostalgic emanating utopia anyhow

One day at this very moment everything will now be something else very pizzazz entirely and I do not know what anything means so if this is it just define pizzazz

quit smoking weed last week and just realized that “remembering shit” isn’t a superpower

Random clicks and creaks in the middle of the night. House? Who’s talking about the house.

A road cuts through Grand Teton National Park. Tall pines intersect the road giving rise to the alpenglow lit Grand Tetons shining red and purple.

I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. - Mitch Hedberg

Pic of the day
#photography

The oven turned our pizza jet black, the water main broke, and my car got repossessed. All while we were watching Happy TV.

I ate avacado toast for breakfast. I get abs now, right?

I won’t be using the term Captain Obvious anymore as I feel it gives too much authority. From now on, I will refer to anyone in that situation as Private First Class Duh.

Don't forget to set your clock on fire, because time is meaningless

My plans for today? Same as always; drink coffee and be sexy.

I know I'm old now because when someone asks how I'm doing I tell them the truth without mercy

I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m angered by the idea of the world going on without me.

I'd never be anywhere without you... and my car keys. You have my car keys.

Pause for a moment to think of all the pets affected by this hideous war: those killed in the blasts, and those abandoned by people fleeing the region.

Here’s an easy mnemonic to help you remember the 26 letters of the alphabet

put my symptoms into WebMD and it said I have a really old joke format

Can’t, trying to scrub a reflection off the wall.

Friday jam session

And then - just like that - the cat decided he would never again eat in the area he's been fed in for five years.

Interviewer: Can you tell me why you want to work for Auto Zone?

Me, on the phone: Sure thing! I just need to finish up with this customer call.

*twenty minutes later*

Me, still on the phone: ...

Interviewer: Impressive. You're hired!

Ummm... Excuse me, can I help you find something?

why are taters the only thing we’ve totted