spore whore 🍄

Got drunk & doordashed bread 😭

Toxicologist here! This will improve the health of zero Americans. Current synthetic food dyes are not causing health problems, and are often times used because they are actually safer than natural food dyes. Reminder that guns are the #1 cause of death of children but we are going to ban food dyes.

Self-proclaimed “free-thinkers” are always the dumbass kids who stood up for the pledge all the way up until graduation day

All 3 of these are from different days and contexts. I’m a full adult.

“Well if that’s their hiring culture you don’t wanna work there anyway”

YES I DO! I NEED A JOB. INCOME. THE THING PEOPLE HAVE IN ORDER TO SURVIVE? YEAH I WANT ONE OF THOSE EVEN IF IT ISNT FUCKING ENJOYABLE SHUT THE FUCK UP

So uh… do you prefer blondies or bundtettes?

> Matthew: Capitalism is more important than democracy > west coast elite: they are both equally important sadvil: Ah, America’s two political parties

No <3

Water in your nose sucks but it’s definitely not the worst substance to get up there

Brb accidentally fell in a giant hole of sadness and despair.

Im so tired of the job hunt. I just want to WORK for MONEY

Just got stood up at a JOB INTERVIEW

I am the latex, I speak for the trees

If the FAA director got fired over a business beef AND there was an air traffic controller hiring freeze despite huge shortages AND a chaotic blitz to hollow out federal bureaucracy, and then within a week the first American airliner crashes in 16 years, you would be insane not to talk about it all.

Ooooooooooooh wait that’s selling it even more. Remind me to read it in approximately 2.6 years once I’m done getting through the entirety of the Witcher series

Ooooooh I’ll have to add that to my list then

Just woke up from a dream where I was writing a book that I was super proud of about a zombie apocalypse and I was almost done with it so now I’m just upset that if I want to be an author I’d have to start a book instead of just finish one 🙄

Im watching a YouTube deep dive into the secret life of the American teenager and I shit you not there’s a line “he died a horrible death because I had incredible sex” lmfao

It’s been 8 days and we have Nazi salutes and a concentration camp.
8 days.

Our hands touched on the djungelskog… do you think he likes me

Subjectively very accurate

I didn’t expect that anyone would, so you’re right on the money

You’re the to my

God this is so embarrassing for us

If you ain’t nuzzlin’ she ain’t guzzlin’

My boyfriend is 29 now (ew)

Seeing the BeReal update is like watching a girl with a fun personality start dressing in muted colors bc her boyfriend said he liked it better 😕

This was already a Hannah Montana episode