Ygrene

in case you've never seen it, this is Roger Ebert on The Mummy

that’s exactly why we are out there 😉😊

starling (seth rogen): if you could take this survey that would be so awesome. i could get out of your hair before this guy's done jacking off.

hannibal lecter (danny mcbride): motherfucker that's miggs. me and him are boys, so you better watch yourself. i'm behind this glass cause i ate some dudes

i am dressed as A Forced To Be Resourceful Due To Someone Else’s Terrible Decisions Citizen

[going door to door with a gas can] trick or treat!

please don’t leak this but: more like 3 square (meals a day)

the heart is a lumpy lopsided fist of a muscle yet I have resisted the urge to hit you with it you're welcome

traditionally, one of the strongest negotiating positions is when the entire world viscerally hates you

a neighborhood street in the pre-Dawn morning. two blurry dogs on leashes approach a streetlight. finally the temps are such that we can start our early morning walks again

this was actually his cool down btw from a Huge Morning Adventure (a walk)

I am genuinely disgusted at how much better I feel after wholemeal toast, whole peanut butter, a banana, proper hydration and gym, as compared to six sweet coffees and immediately hunching over computer.

[feeling really good after exercising and eating a healthy breakfast instead of sleeping in and having capn crunch] laaaaame

WIFE: he calls blueberries “bloobs”

DIVORCE LAWYER: my god

my pov as a sit on a workout bench in the gym. there are some weights visible on the ground but more importantly, there is a shepherd dog facing away from me but positioned directly between my legs. The guy (Kayce the Boy) is demanding back rubs

trainer ordered 3 sets of 12 back rubs

that’s my secret, Gene. i’m always cussing

actually i was in prison yesterday, due to a crime i committed previously. i served 5 years

If an official commits an impeachable offense and nobody acts to impeach, it is no longer an impeachable offense.

People who oppose impeachment as “pointless” because it seems unlikely to result in removal do not understand this very simple point and seem unwilling to even try to understand it.

Text saying "You've read your last free article."

Jacked action hero with goon in headlock, in raspy yet firm voice:

A handicap blue and white painted sign on the asphalt of a parking space. The symbols are meant to be a pregnant women and a baby stroller, but it doesn't look like that. It looks like pac man being killed with scissors next to a dancer

Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡

hey babe this teriyaki sauce expired in (checks label) 2019 but were you keeping it for a specific purpose

wearing my women in stem t-shirt on international women’s day to celebrate the fact that i was given that and a reusable water bottle instead of equal pay

well i hope filling up the car today gets me through the next year or two

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day

Legit thought this morning "they had to get up a hour early to turn the birds on today"

Yes

hell yeah

women: (on international women's day) finally a day for me

men: (on the same day) BABE I CAN'T FIND MY HOUR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY HOUR, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE

Forget about it

mom of mia

Gob of ghoul

it’s of me, mario