Watching the winter Olympics thinking “oooh that’ll be murder on their knees”
15.02.2026 16:58
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32 odd kids’ socks. That’s what broke me at the end of a long day. I guess if i wasn’t precious about them matching we’d have 16 pairs
09.02.2026 18:20
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My husband’s ADHD medication is called Tranquilyn
30.01.2026 11:06
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In my mucus era
23.01.2026 11:46
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These have now expired
10.01.2026 13:40
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Without a hint of irony, my toddler’s favourite song at the moment is Insomnia by Faithless
08.01.2026 22:44
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“Friends fear she’s making tattoo enquiries again”
05.01.2026 20:53
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Maybe if I keep scrolling tomorrow won’t arrive
04.01.2026 23:34
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I’m like the princess and the pea but instead of sleeping on 10 mattresses there are 10 duvets on top of me
03.12.2025 22:41
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Help, I’ve spent all my money
18.11.2025 21:58
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What’s it like living with an ADHD husband?
I found dirty dishes in the back garden after asking him to clean the kitchen 3 days ago.
12.10.2025 16:59
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An epiphany where you suddenly see all the clutter that’s gathered around the edges of every room
12.10.2025 16:57
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I’m sorry, Doctor, but who isn’t experiencing a lot of stress at the moment?
30.09.2025 21:29
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Another classic girl dinner; chicken salad and two cocodamol.
29.09.2025 12:14
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A spider plant in a jute covered pot. It has just a few small wispy leaves
A variegated house plant with browning leaves and dying stems.
Show me the houseplants you’re desperately trying (and failing) to keep alive in a sense of delusional hope.
12.09.2025 13:16
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Saw a pigeon with a sore foot and it’s ruined my day.
Hope you recover, little pal.
12.09.2025 08:30
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Booooooo
31.08.2025 22:39
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I’ve never seen mob mentality until tonight. The host of the Disney pub quiz got the answer to question 1/40 wrong and lost the respect of all the ‘Disney adults’ in the room. It was savage.
31.08.2025 22:34
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Can I get my toddler deported? She’s tiny and she does crimes.
26.08.2025 22:35
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A day so long I feel like I’ve died and can feel my body decomposing
31.05.2025 20:33
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I’m very proud
26.04.2025 17:52
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I'm back to brushing my teeth more than once a day so yeah, you can say I've got one hell of a handle on my depression.
25.04.2025 19:30
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Toddler, misheard:
BITCH (bits)
BOOBIES (blueberries)
COCK (clock)
26.04.2025 17:36
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Finally got my PhD in Napping
16.04.2025 16:38
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Making myself two cups of tea just to feel something
07.04.2025 18:35
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Joker at sainsburys checkout. I was buying baby ibuprofen with my child.
Him: it’s check 25, are you over 25?
Me: I am *37* years old
Him: since when?
Me: 1987
Him: smile for me?
Me: I have no wrinkles I’m full of Botox. See 😯 I can’t raise my eyebrows!
Him: don’t overcook it *scans to approve*
21.02.2025 16:59
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Twice a week at bedtime I spray my bathroom with bleach to perpetuate the lie that I’m a domestic goddess. Work smart, not hard. And don’t inhale the fumes.
13.02.2025 17:52
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My aura is a black hole
09.02.2025 17:25
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My small child is adding to her collection of words. Today in the pub she bellowed “drink” at the wine fridge and the other day she looked at my husband and whispered “crumpet”.
26.01.2025 17:36
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“Hey siri, is there protein in double cream?”
28.12.2024 12:51
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