Jenn Murphy

some of us have lives! (not me specifically)

manicurist (showing the different nail polishes): “this one’s matte”

me: hey Matt

To Sir With Love but our English teacher fast-forwarded through the entire “sanitary napkin” scene lmao

I feel like it’s such a maritime thing to talk absolute shit about someone for a half hour and then sigh and say “well god love her”

I’m not like other girls. I’m outside your house

sorry, obviously I meant to say herstory

I find it a little suspicious when someone isn’t in love with me. like, fair enough, I just wouldn’t want to be on that side of history

I promised myself I would cry

I hope this email finds you in a whale - God, to Jonah

I do have the scrolling sickness, but when I’m put in a situation where I only have access to my thoughts, I find my mind is a very interesting and adequate place

nutrient-dense foods and medicine should be available to everyone. health behaviours are important and should be encouraged. but it’s so dangerous to think of ✨healthy✨ as this objective, morally virtuous thing to aspire to. it leaves so many people behind

willem dafoe? no, willem dafriend 😌

when two people are fighting online I’ve found I have the capacity to easily despise them both

when I was a kid I thought you were either born with bangs or you weren’t

jenny murphy lore

if your first kiss was with a cirque du soleil clown in the middle of a live show, you have anxiety now

there is something to be said about sobriety—yes, it might have an impact on your physicality. and LL looks great! but we can say that about her and others without implying that this is achievable for everyone, or that conventional beauty should be paramount as we age

saw a tiktok about lindsay lohan & how her new look means "there is hope for everyone". that is so so grim to me! are we not even trying to not equate beauty with morality anymore? these celebrities are looking like they did when they were younger mostly because they have access to every procedure

they should invent some news that is good

fully thought “dr oz” was a made up character. but I guess that one’s on me

as she should!

I just know that preppy tween who interviews celebrities on TikTok would 1000% bully me

we need to put a stop to the trend of using sweets to describe beauty products. cinnamon roll lips? chocolate syrup hair? hailey bieber we’re going to get ants

nutrient-dense foods and medicine should be available to everyone. health behaviours are important and should be encouraged. but it’s so dangerous to think of ✨healthy✨ as this objective, morally virtuous thing to aspire to. it leaves so many people behind

I’ve written about this before in more depth (pre-MAHA as a movement) but I think it’s worth reiterating that you cannot ever make a country or group of people “healthy”. because a) that is not an easily definable thing and b) it is not always an achievable thing. unhealthy people are valuable too

true!!

News story about dating with woman’s face

very briefly thought this was an ad for the chicken dating show

going full-on delusional (for my health)

help my emotional support straight man isn’t responding to my memes

not to be cringe but lemme know some authors and writers to follow on this site! ideally funny/weird/gay