Top 5 invisible things;
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2)
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5)
14.03.2026 06:41
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Top 5 invisible things;
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Top 5 invisible things;
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
I think I just got a bot follow from some keyword in my last 3 tweets. I remember on Twitter when that was a new thing so you could post random words to gain many followers if you were shallow hammer car tits food travel tits tools equipment more tits boat fish animal discount AI invest tits tits
Actually, being nearly 2m tall, my gravestone will probably read ‘Move along, please. You’re standing on my shin.’
My epitaph will read “He knew his audience.”
Fell down the hole of a TikTok channel HowAnimalsPoops. Not my proudest 10 minutes but I can say that Rhinos for the win but cockroaches just yuck!
Oh, the grand old duke of york
He ██████████████████
He ██████████████████
And he ██████████████████
Yes, I do get a high on brake fluid. But I can stop any time I like.
Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Everything is red.
Oh my God! There’s so much blood!
I woke up feeling grumpy, this morning. The other 6 dwarves were huddled, terrified, at the foot of my bed.
I've found god.
It's my turn to hide now.
I’ve been doing ‘Parrot Pilates’. It really works macaw.
He’d come and fetch me, reeking of, what I later learned to be vodka and reindeer pussy. And don’t even go there and ask me how I know what vodka smells like uh huh, no.
As a baby, my parents would swaddle me and put me in a sledge so that dog pictured, Duke, could pull me to daycare 1.5km through woods in the winter. Unaccompanied.
Hei hei! Everytime I hear a female voiceover I wonder if it might be you.
This is who runs this account.
I once saw an albino, Polar Bear. Completely black it was.
But my favourite was Uncle Bjørn, who was wildly exciting to stay with except he would occasionally eat one of us. Years later I realised he was a Polar Bear and my parents drunk too
much on camping holidays.
I had many Uncles, growing up in Norway. My Uncle Sven (pictured) used to babysit me. Aside from my night-terrors and bed-wetting into adulthood… I remember him fondly.
Yourself but as a cartoon
Don’t eat…
Just like my Viking ancestors did in 865 AD I’m going to ransack Northumbria. I’ve printed loads of leaflets so hoping for a good turn out. Not so cocksure now are ye?
#Science The Great White Shark is the most feared but also the most studied of all sharks so we know, empirically, that they predate dinosaurs, don’t celebrate birthdays or masturbate. Which raises the question… Can we really blame them?
Quote post with a picture of you being a dork
I feel confident that most of you hold firm the belief that, if on a strange, rocky landscape and some rocks were not behaving within expected parameters. Then the ideal stranger to bump into would be a Geologist. Well, you’d be wrong! Roll film.
I use Norwegian yoga to help me maintain the belief that there is no need to check my bank balance I’m sure it is just fine.
I have to work tomorrow.
But now that’s ALL I want to do!
aspirational
