Kyle Hyatt

We (disgustingly and jokingly) refer to this phenomenon as Second Harvest in our house.

Thanks Jason Mantzoukas.

the possibility of owning a sports car only for getting out of the city and a French-Italian torment nexus with a suspension actuated by some proprietary formulation of gom jabbar and Malört appeals to me in a way that I’ll have to discuss with a mental health professional

fund public transit

my brain immediately translates the words “living car-free” to “Citroën SM ownership”, because that’s what living without the need for a car could mean for me

a car that works 40% of the time isn’t a daily means of conveyance - that’s a bus - it’s a slow descent into hydropneumatic delirium

Fuck everyone who was "just asking questions" and just wanted to "protect children."

that twitter billionaire's dumbass grok image proposing oil transfer by land through what looks like oman and uae, both currently in range of iranian drones and missiles. the trucks have been replaced by a giant slip n' slide running between the ships and a caption that reads "Pour Oil into Giant Slip n' Slide"

Can this be a solution?

Roadshow sticker!

Until this guy drops a pair of dark sunglasses and lights up a lucky strike.

Wait’ll you’re assailed and impaled with monster truck force!

Farkle or whatever it’s called rules. Dirty peasant Yahtzee!

Gene is a weirdo who lived in our backyard until we duped her into walking into our house. She’s a real cutie though and worth it for sure.

Keeping fingers crossed for your lil bud.

It’s insane. My wife and I just spent like $4k on teeth extractions for our latest rescue. Vet stuff always feels borderline predatory and I hate it because I can’t not participate in that system and be a responsible pet owner.

That said this bitch has 2 teeth left and is thriving.

Missiles but they’re withering takes on Iranian fashion trends. Blame millennials when it all catches up. I’ll take my 20% in goblin-made silver, please.

Missles but they’re deepfakes. Blame rogue AI when it all catches up. I’ll take my 20% in gold, please.

They tried this with car writers too, and reached out to me post-Jalopnik. Then I found out that they had a hiring ban on people from California because their practices (freelancer exclusivity without benefits) were deemed illegal here.

God he sucks.

Ok so hear me out: The Blues Brothers but it’s Fugazi.

Right? Right.

A post from someone named Smithauggie with a picture of Vada over Thomas J’s casket saying “he needs his glasses. He can’t see the Dow is over 50,000 without his glasses.”

Best one I’ve seen yet.

Whaddya call an act like that?

The aristocrats!

Quadraspazzed on a life glug

“We’ve news of a parents’ riot in Leeds where a paedophile in a microlight committed an overhead perversion at Headingly Stadium.

Police helicopters then chased him into pylons where he crashed screaming like a pig in a war.”

You’re not punk and I’m telling everyone.

They got the date wrong and the last baby thing, but they nailed Stephen Miller’s look 100%.

Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes."

After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc

Baby Please Don’t Leave is basically stoner doom metal and I’m so here for it. Just the nastiest guitar tone and drum sound.

Petit Ecolier would be on mine, but I’d have TimTam, the raspberry sandwich cookies from IKEA and Thin Mints (right from the freezer)

Strong “I have an online girlfriend and she’s a model in Europe” energy. Such a fucking loser.

Thoughts and prayers for something wonderful happening

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IWW IU 520 (Railroad Workers) PRESENTS: TROLLEY PROBLEM SOLUTION "Slip the switch" by flipping it while the trolley's front wheels have passed through, but before the back wheels do. This will cause a controlled derailment bringing the trolley to a safe halt.

Union workers solved the trolley problem, you're welcome