@apiln
Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
Trafic de fossiles: un expert suisse accusé (Fossil trafficking: a Swiss expert is accused). Photo shows the Rolling Stones.
Meanwhile in Switzerland, an expert is accused of smuggling fossils (pictured).
“This cow has gone to his local paper, furious that BBC Ground Force still haven’t finished his decking”
Whitstable Times - Town Turned Into Cake
It's all happening there
Folkestone Herald: Out-of-date pasty is sold to young mum Toddler took bite of food three days past its sell-by date.
And Whitstable is only 26 miles from Folkestone. Take a think around THAT, dear reader.
Whitstable mum in custard shortage A MUM OF three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless.
Whitstable has form. Oh yes.
I went to Whitstable once, and it was there that I heard a DFL ask for “two white lattes” in a café.
Why not both?
Lancashire Evening Post TOAST WARNING TO PRESTON STUDENTS.
“Don’t get mixed up with Ray Bloody Purchase”
Alternative caption: THIS WEEK I HAVE BEEN MOSTLY WINNING AT BOWLS.
Albert Einstein is alive and well and using his knowledge of the curved nature of the universe (General Theory of Relativity, 1915) to be a dab hand at bowls.
Yorkshire Evening Post Man put in hospital after 'fight with bats' in broad daylight on Leeds street.
“🦇 🦇🦇!”
(readers should prepare to be disappointed)
www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/crime/l...
Michael Fabricant’s stunt double reduced to posing angrily in local newspapers since all the lookalike work dried up.
POEM OF THE DAY Big Jim, by James Evans Big Jim the Marshal was seven feet tall, but had a dark side no-one knew at all. He's the law, checks the saloon at night, to stop a brawl, or a drunken bar fight Then one evening, as the sun went down, Bart the Bandit rode into town. Paid a dollar to put his horse in a stable, then booked in the hotel, where a room was available. After breakfast he got his horse, rode to the bank, to rob it, of course. It's a stick-up, he said, reach for the sky, when I grab the cash, keep your hands held high. Bart's robbery was soon undone, Big Jim burst in, with his rootin' tootin' gun. Bart got shot and lay down dead, next stop Boot Hill, full of lead. Then Marshal Jim showed his darker side, grabbed the cash and ran outside. Jumped on his horse for a quick getaway, shouting Giddy Up Ned, Yippy Aye Ay!
Yee and indeed haaaaa!
Truncated headline: King Charles strips 9 people of MBEs and OBEs - including Owl...
It was, in fact, several owls in a long coat.
When you wake up in the morning and find you’ve turned blue. That’s Smurfy’s Law.
You had one job (which was to annoy drivers, and you succeeded magnificently)
It’s dreadful road surfaces like this which put people off from visiting Wasp World (one mile north of the A30 at Bodmin) and also Hornet Land (one mile south of the A30 at Bodmin). They’ll just “buzz off” elsewhere, and the local economy gets stang.
I’m not even going to check.
Stunned to report that Ping Pong players have finally overtaken taxi drivers as Britain’s angriest social group. Who saw that coming?
Add one word to a film to ruin it.
Epstein Treasure Island.
Not only that, but “Itteringham Post Office” is an anagram of “Shit on it noodlecracker” #NobodyChecksAnagrams
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
It’s so you don’t get your account suspended for saying “goblin squat”.
